art | ART of IF

Maria:

These past two weeks been a whirlwind! New exhibit and workshop dates are currently being planned for the project, we hosted our workshop and exhibit at Busboys & Poets in DC, we met with our MI legislators to discuss infertility legislation, we gathered new infertility stories for the project, plus we successfully met our Kickstarter goal! Thank you for all who supported us, both financially and those who continue to publicly support and share information about the project. Liz and I continue to pinch ourselves in amazement about how the project has evolved over this past year.

Many of you may not know that Liz and I first met during this time last year at RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association’s Advocacy Day. We bonded over our infertility stories, experiences leading RESOLVE peer-led support groups, and our passion and interest in the arts as a heuristic for infertility healing. Our friendship has blossomed over the past year, incorporating many of these shared interests and our professional backgrounds into the project.

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Liz and me in front of the Capitol during Advocacy Day last week.

So while I reflect on our time spent in DC last week, I think about how Advocacy Day brought the two of us together and really helped to shape the project into a national infertility oral history and art exhibit. This year, Advocacy Day continues to serve as a fruitful day connecting hundreds of infertile women and men. Liz and I were lucky enough to spend time with a few of these individuals by inviting a few women to participate in a “mini” interview session for the project.

Here we met Jo and Brooke. Two empowering, positive, strong, and courageous women. Talking with them and learning about their artifacts (Jo, a tatoo; Brooke, a quilt) that they choose to share with the project, I was struck in the moment of interviewing each of them that this is why I come to Advocacy Day. This is why I tell my story to Congress. This is why I believe that infertility should become recognized as a national public health issue. These women. Sitting before me. Telling me their stories. They inspire me and remind me that I’m not alone. That our infertility stories matter. That together as an infertile community, we are strong, we are powerful, we can change the cultural stigmas that are attached to infertility. I want to thank Jo and Brooke for agreeing to share their stories (shown below). I hope that others will find them equally inspiring and empowering.

Elizabeth:

I’m in awe every time I sit down to interview an individual or family about their experience with infertility. Since starting the project, I’ve completed around 70 interviews and they never fail to remind me of the passion and desire that those with infertility have for building their (our) families and what they are willing to do to make that happen, whether they end up parenting, or choosing to be a family of two and live child free.

Sadly, because of the lack of the acknowledgment of infertility as a public health concern (even though it is recognized as such by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention), and insurance coverage for this disease; many endure years of treatment, and pay for most, if not all of it, out of pocket. That’s why I choose to advocate for legislation that will help those with infertility build their families.

An important part of that is sharing my story, and, through the ART of IF, I’ve had the honor and privilege of documenting and sharing the stories of others as well. It’s been an important part of being able to process my feelings about my disease and I find it amazing that I’m able to help others do that too. During our time in D.C., Maria and I were able to sit down with seven amazing women, Tomiko, Brooke, Angela, Katie, Jo, Annie, and Renee, and hear a bit of their stories. Thank you all for letting us in to your lives and journeys!

Renee, Annie, Elizabeth, Maria, and Jo at the wrap up reception during Advocacy Day.

Meeting with my state and local representatives at Advocacy Day made me realize what an incredible tool the project could be for sharing the importance of the issues we were presenting (you can find a list of those issues and bills at RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association’s website by clicking here) and I’m excited about ways we can do outreach through the project to help make a difference on both a state and federal level.

Brooke:

Infertility Advocate, Brooke Kingston, in Washington, D.C. for RESOLVE:The National Infertility Association’s Advocacy Day.

Brooke tells us why she wanted to participate in the ART of Infertility project.

Brooke shares reflections on her infertility diagnosis and decision to live child free.

Brooke finds a creative outlet for her infertility through a variety of hobbies. Here, she holds a quilt she created.

“My husband and I are five years into our experience with infertility, and chose a childfree lifestyle as our resolution. I’ve always been crafty and took solace in creative hobbies. When my sister announced her pregnancy in November 2013, I struggled a lot emotionally. The second I laid eyes on my nephew, I fell in love with him and wanted to give him the world. I had a strong urge to carry on my late grandmother’s tradition of gifting new babies with her handmade quilts. My nephew received my first quilt, and I’ve finished 6 others since September 2014. This quilt is the fifth I started, and was used as a prop in the photo session my husband and I did to celebrate of fifth wedding anniversary.”

-Brooke

Brooke’s advice for others who have been diagnosed with infertility.

Jo:

Jo advocates at both the state and federal levels for changes that would improve the lives of those with infertility.

Jo shares with us why she wanted to participate in the ART of Infertility project.

Jo’s diagnosis includes diminished ovarian reserve and cysts, while her husband has male factor infertility due to a previous vasectomy. Here, she explains more.

After many cycles of both IUI and IVF, Jo has never been pregnant. Listen to the two clips below to hear about her treatment and how she has had to pay for them out-of-pocket since she has run out of insurance coverage.

Jo’s tattoo of an eight cell embryo was created by artist, Jude LeTronik.

Recently, Jo got a tattoo to honor her journey and has a sort of prayer, or spell, for her next upcoming IVF to work. Listen to her talk more about the reasons why she chose this image. If you’d like to learn more about the tattoo artist, you can check out her website. http://www.judeletronik.com

I was very fortunate to wake up this morning in our nation’s capitol, where I will be advocating for legislation to help those with infertility. Sara Elliot, our guest blogger this week, was hoping to make the trip this year and was unable, but wanted to share her story with us via the ART of IF blog. Thank you, Sara for sharing your story with us!

Elizabeth

Art Journaling to Cope with Infertility

Many in the infertility community will be making their way to DC this week for Resolve’s Advocacy Day on Capitol Hill.

I can’t be there to advocate this year in person, but I still I wanted to help raise awareness about the 1 out of 8 couples who month-after-month, year-after-year are trying to build their family by any route available to them.

Let’s start with this. I never thought that I’d be a person who would “do” IVF. It’s taken a long time to come to terms with the loss of control over my body and my reproduction. With a diagnosis of PCOS and subclinical hypothyroidism, I am now both infertile – meaning we tried to get pregnant for over a year without assistance – and have experienced recurrent pregnancy loss. The combination is so difficult.

Around the time I first went to on OB/GYN to get testing, I found out that it took my grandparents 7 years to conceive my mother, so there is likely a genetic component to what I am going through. I remember my grandma saying, “Our children came along later” but I didn’t understand infertility might be the cause until I was faced with it myself.

For reasons we’re still trying to figure out with our doctor, we’ve conceived four times through assisted reproductive technology – 2 IUIS and 2 IVF cycles – and lost all 4 pregnancies. One was ectopic. One had a heartbeat we got to hear twice.

While going through this recent IVF cycle and loss, I turned to art journaling to process the emotions of this heart wrenching experience. I made a point to draw just a little bit every day, even if all I could muster was a few words in black pen. I’d often fill in the color on better days.

The art journal is a record of what kept me going, including song lyrics and reminders to take care of myself.

At the start of the New Year, I pick a new word to focus on. This year the word I chose was “Become.” This song by Iron & Wine got stuck in my head for weeks, so “Become the rising sun” has become a phrase I focus on a lot.

When we got an unexpected positive pregnancy test in February, I tried to remember to be happy in the moment. I was very anxious, given our history of loss. During this cycle, I saw the trailer for the documentary One More Shot by Noah Moskin and Maya Grobel Moskin. When Maya said, “In this moment, I am happy” I sobbed realizing how hard and necessary it is to grab a moment of happiness amidst all the bad news.

Fear of loss is a very typical response for women who have been through so much to get pregnant. Many infertile women talk quietly about the post-traumatic stress they experience. In the end, the only choice is to surrender, continue to persevere, and to figure out how to rebuild a life that includes more than just a few moments of happiness.

***

In 2010, my husband and I moved back to our home state of Michigan to be near family as we tried to have children. As the years of trying to conceive and maintain a pregnancy unfolded, an added heartbreak was that if we’d stayed in Massachusetts, our IVF health care costs would have been covered by insurance because state law in Massachusetts mandates coverage for IVF. Michigan law does not. Federal law does not. Money that we’d intended for a retirement account or a child’s college fund was instead spent on medical bills that were uncovered by our health insurance.

And let’s be clear – female and male sterilization is covered by our insurance plan, yet the most effective treatment for infertility, IVF, is not covered. As far as I can tell, the only logic for this policy is cost savings for the insurance companies. No working reproductive systems means no babies which means no hospital births and no well-baby visits to pay for on family insurance plans.

Despite all of our bad luck, we are lucky that we have some savings to spend on our health care needs. Many couples do not. And frankly, no one should have to spend five figures out of pocket to treat a diagnosed medical condition.

Only laws can change this situation.

Thank you to the women and men who are in DC advocating on our behalf this week.

ART of IF

The official blog of the traveling art exhibit and oral history project, ART of Infertility.

Category Archives: art

Advocacy Day Interviews

Art Journaling to Cope with Infertility