Giving Tuesday as a Not Quite Non-Profit

Posted on November 29, 2016 by admin

We are working with our attorney to finish up the last of our final paperwork for filing as a non-profit. We are excited about what this will mean for the sustainability of The ART of Infertility (ART of IF) and the work we do to educate about the experience of infertility and provide a creative outlet and community of support for those living with it. For those of you new to ART of IF, or who need a refresher, here’s a link where you can learn more about our mission and our team.

A participant works on a memory box at an art workshop in Ann Arbor, MI.

Our articles of incorporation were filed in June. This means that, considering that our final paperwork is accepted and non-profit status is granted (and we have no reason to believe it won’t be), any donations will be tax-deductible retroactively to the date they were filed. Long story short, you give, it will be a future tax deduction.

However, we have really been struggling with asking a population who has already sacrificed so much, to give more. Many of you have to pay out-of-pocket to even get testing to receive an infertility diagnosis, let alone have an attempt to build your family through treatment or through adoption.

You scrimp and save, give up the large and small luxuries in life, max out credit cards, take out home equity loans, just to have a chance to have what comes so easily and virtually free to most, a child.

So, if you’ve passed the point in your fertility journey where every penny counts, or have access to insurance that keeps your out-of-pocket costs low, then yes, by all means, we could definitely use some cash!

Our current storage space shortly after we moved in. It’s now filled to the brim and we need an upgrade!

Thanks to those of you who have generously shared your artwork and stories with us, we have an urgent need for a bigger storage space for our artwork and art workshop supplies for 2017. Ideally, we’d like a space that also allows us prep area for exhibits and workshops. You can help us by giving to our general fund at this link. Any amount, large or small, is greatly appreciated. Seriously!

If not, we totally understand. Here are some free and low cost ways to contribute to ART of IF to and the work we do to benefit the infertility community.

Ask friends and family you think would be interested in ART of IF to follow us on social media. We’re on Twitter and Instagram @artofif and on Facebook. You can learn how to ask your friends to like our page on Facebook by following these instructions.
Share a favorite blog post from ART of IF on social media.
Send us your infertility artwork, permanently or on loan, so that we can share it through our exhibits, blog, and website. You do not have to be a professional artist. We welcome any form of expression by those of any skill level.
An image from the series, “Infertility is the Worst” by Kelly Zechmeister-Smith

Schedule a time to share your story with us via an oral history interview. Interviews can be conducted in person or via phone or Skype.

Maria conducts an oral history interview with project participant, Angela, during Advocacy Day events in Washington, D.C.

We consider it an honor and a privilege to collect and share your infertility stories through our art exhibits and oral history project. None of what we do would be possible without your participation and we are grateful every day for what the gift of your stories allows us to do. Please help us continue our work by contributing to ART of IF now.

All the best,

Maria Novotny and Elizabeth Walker, Co-Directors of The ART of Infertility

We Are Strong Women

Posted on November 17, 2016 by admin

No matter who you voted for, waking up last Wednesday morning morning it was clear: the world has been changed. For Elizabeth and me, this took on particular meaning as we finalized our presentation for Merck KGaA’s As One For employee education day, an event devoted to Merck staff understanding the perspectives of patients using their products.

We made the trip to Switzerland with six suitcases and two backpacks full of art and supplies.

Sitting in our Coinsins, Switzerland L’Auberge Salon (aka – our small but quaint hotel room) – we decided to devote this presentation to all the infertile women who have had to struggle to fight for their dreams, fight for their passions, fight for a child. In honor of all of you who have graciously shared either your time, resources or both to The ART of Infertility – we dedicate this to you – the infertile but ever strong woman.

Here is a bit about our own personal stories and how we have found strength in our infertility.

-Maria

Elizabeth’s Story.

My husband Scott and I met on New Year’s Eve 1999, married in May of 2004, and five years later, decided to add to our family by having a baby.

I went off the birth control pill in March of 2009 and started charting my cycles. My chart was a mess. Definitely not what you want your chart to look like while trying to conceive. By fall, my chart was looking better but I was finding that the time between ovulating and starting my period wasn’t long enough to be optimal for implantation and to sustain a pregnancy.

My first chart off birth control.

Right around that time, Scott’s sister, Shelley, got sick. She was the recently divorced mom of three little girls. The girls began spending Shelley’s custody days with us. Suddenly we were thrown in to sleepovers, play dates, homework, and bath time. We were the ones to tuck them in at night, soothe them when they woke up from nightmares, and nurse them back to health when they were sick. The circumstances were terrible, but having them living with us was one of the very best experiences of my life. Sadly, Shelley died in January of 2010.

That March, their dad moved them to Minnesota. With the girls nearly 600 miles away, we were devastated. This was made even worse by the fact that it had been over a year since we started trying to conceive and we were officially dealing with infertility. I wondered if the time that the girls lived with us would be the only time we’d ever parent. We needed to see a doctor to get started with testing and treatment but took some time to heal first. Well meaning friends and family, not knowing we were trying to conceive and unsuccessful, suggested that having a child of our own might help us heal. While we wanted a baby, it was no replacement for the precious nieces that we were longing for.

By the end of the year, we were ready. At Thanksgiving, I was headed to testing and my sister she announced she was pregnant her second month of trying to conceive. We spent Christmas of 2010 with the girls in a hotel in Minneapolis. The entire trip, I was receiving test results and scheduling more appointments.

Between the end of 2010 and the end of 2012, I was diagnosed with Luteal Phase Defect, Endometriosis, and Diminished Ovarian Reserve. We endured five rounds of oral meds with timed intercourse, four intra-uterine inseminations with oral and injectable drugs, I had a diagnostic laparoscopy, and I joined a RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association support group and then became the group’s host.

What I personally found hardest about infertility was being stuck in limbo as my friends and family had children, all the decisions that infertility forces you to make, and the fact that it’s an invisible disease. In order to make my infertility visible, I started creating artwork.

The first piece of artwork I made during my IF journey.

The first piece created out of my infertility journey, made while on medical leave after an exploratory laparoscopy to remove polyps and endometriosis.

I learned that others were also using artwork to deal with infertility and in fall of 2012, pitched an “infertility art exhibit” to the Ella Sharp Museum in Jackson, Michigan, where I live. The exhibit would provide educational info on infertility, display the environmental portraits, artwork and stories of those living with infertility, and offer an art workshop. They said yes.

Early 2013 brought our one and only IVF cycle. My retrieval led to complications (internal bleeding and ovarian torsion) for which I needed emergency surgery. After I recovered, we transferred two of our three resulting grade 5AA blastocysts. I got pregnant, but miscarried twins early on. This all happened between the middle of February and June 1st and I needed a break after all we’d been through.

I spent the rest of the year working on the exhibit, compiling facts, making artwork, and photographing exhibit participants. I wanted to show them participating in activities other than infertility that defined them.

What I personally found hardest about infertility was being stuck in limbo as my friends and family had children, all the decisions that infertility forces you to make, and the fact that it’s an invisible disease. In order to make my infertility visible, I started creating artwork.

In February of 2014, we transferred our last embryo and I didn’t get pregnant. My husband and I had reached the end of our journey in attempting to have children that are genetically ours. We needed time to grieve and regroup with the idea that we may eventually move on to living child free or adopting from foster care. Two and a half years later, we’re still working on healing from all we dealt with. We need a bit more time to come to terms with what we’ve been through, and rebuild our relationship. However, I am starting to feel the pressure of time and the need to make a decision about how we will resolve our infertility. We are still considering living child free, especially since we have such a close relationship with the nieces we parented for a time. We are also considering using donor embryo, an option that I started considering after hearing the story of Noah and Maya, who I interviewed for the project.

In March of 2014, The ART of IF: Navigating the Journey of Infertility opened at the Ella Sharp Museum. Along with raising awareness about infertility through the art exhibit, I began lobbying for infertility legislation on Capitol Hill with my first trip to Advocacy Day in D.C. that May, where I met Maria Novotny.

Maria’s Story.

This is where my infertility story begins – at yes, believe it or not, the age of 15. I met Kevin, my now husband, at this age. Throughout high school and college, Kevin and I dated on and off. Ultimately, upon graduation we decided to get married. Both of us came from big families. In fact, my family was so large that my parents actually had my brother when I was 18. So the idea of being infertile NEVER crossed my mind. In fact, I was often warned that I would be “too” fertile. This was a joke at the time, but now is all too ironic.

Kevin and Maria with family on their wedding day.

After marrying at the age of 23, we moved to MI for Kevin’s job and bought a house. Soon we began nesting, adopting dogs and shortly after decided to “try”….

Months passed and nothing. No success. A year passed. And we knew something was wrong. I booked an appointment with my OB/GYN. Tests came back and it was suggested we go to our local fertility center.

We attended a consultation and left feeling completely overwhelmed. We were 24 and grappling not only with the numerous options available as well as financial cost – but also with the fact that we were trying to understand our new infertile identity. We felt paralyzed. We were living in a new state. We had no family near us. And we had few close friends. So, we decided to look for support…

But couldn’t find anything. Desperate just to meet someone else who was infertile, we turned to the internet and “came out” with our infertility. We shared our story on our local city’s newspaper and asked others if they too needed support. Slowly but surely, we began to connect with others looking for a safe space to deal with issues in a city that was rated by Forbes Magazine as “the #1 place to raise a family.”

At this time, I found myself needing to document my infertility journey. I felt a deep desire to capture the complex and confusing feelings that I was experiencing. So I began to write. Doing so, I wrote several pieces. One of which is titled The House, a piece now in The ART of Infertility which reflects on the house my husband and I bought prior to learning about our infertility.

As I began to do more creative writing pieces, I felt an increasing connection to return to school. As a college student, I majored in English. Learning how writing could help with emotional and physical healing, I started a Master’s program focused on writing and the teaching of writing. Graduate school became a place where I could escape the pressures of not conceiving, of not becoming a mom.

We attended a consultation and left feeling completely overwhelmed. We were 24 and grappling not only with the numerous options available as well as financial cost – but also with the fact that we were trying to understand our new infertile identity. We felt paralyzed. We were living in a new state. We had no family near us. And we had little to few close friends. So, we decided to look for support…

Today, I am in the last year of my schooling – finishing my PhD in an area that I call “rhetorics of infertility” which explores how writing and art are composition practices communicating the challenges women and men face when diagnosed with infertility.

And so, while I currently am not in treatment, nor am I pregnant – I still am very much in limbo. Very much in a place of not knowing what my next move should be. I am 30 now. I have lived the past 6 years knowing that I am infertile. But the need to make a decision about what to do next is so overwhelming that I am secretly hoping it will work itself out, that my husband and I won’t have to make a decision. This hope is what we call “limbo” – the not knowing of infertility and the sheer exhaustion that comes with its disease.

***

While we both have decisions to make about further growing our families, through ART of IF, Elizabeth and I have found more happiness, and peace than either of us has had in years. The connections that we have made with other infertile individuals and families, the work that we do in helping them along their journeys, and the awareness about the patient experience that we are able to raise, has given us fulfillment. For both of us, this project turned organization has become the baby that neither one of us could have.

We shared these stories with Merck employees, followed by a Q & A. Upon doing so, our co-presenter, a fertility specialist in the UK, concluded the session. She reminded all of us that while infertility can be difficult to learn about – both in terms of its sadness and depressing nature – we need to remember that infertility can make those dealing with it stronger. She spoke to the fact that The ART of Infertility is a testament to this. That when women face adversity, they can create beautiful things. We – the infertile – are strong (and powerful) women. We were very touched by her words and the important reminder that is especially relevant in this post-election time that we are now living. Let us not forget that our challenges have the potential to make us stronger and, through the lives we live and the work we do, we have the ability to make a positive impact on our own lives and the lives of those around us.

How have you found strength in your infertility journey? We would love for you to share it with us.

After traveling all night, we arrive at Merck to drop off the exhibit supplies.

Advocacy Day Reflections from Jennifer

Posted on April 5, 2016 by admin

A few weeks ago I decide to take a last minute trip to Columbus, OH. While there, I was able to interview Jennifer. Jennifer was diagnosed with PCOS and Endometriosis and dealt with years of infertility before a successful IUI and the birth of her daughter, Kathryn. For the past few years, Jennifer and her husband have been trying IUIs again. Below, Jennifer reflects on Advocacy Day and why she makes the trip to Washington, D.C. each year. Thanks, Jennifer, for sharing your story.

Elizabeth

“At first I went because three of my friends were going. I was like, oh, it’s going to be a fun girls trip. I think sometimes I’m a fairly cynical person so I don’t necessarily always think that our voice is heard and that the senator really cares, but going in there and telling them what we need, what we want, and that there is a need for infertility coverage and the adoption credit, I felt so empowered. In control almost. Like I could take back control and I didn’t expect to feel that. It was a lot more emotional than I thought it would be. I think I probably did cry at some point on that day and I didn’t expect that at all. I really didn’t. I’m always sort of using humor as my natural defense and sort of hide stuff so I was really shocked by how emotional I was that first Advocacy Day.”

“One of the things that I came away with the first time I went to Advocacy Day that never even entered my mind was that if, in twenty years, my daughter is infertile for whatever reason, whether it’s her, or her spouse, or whatever, that I could do this for her. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I could fight for her so that she never has to know this pain. So that’s why I keep doing it. More than for myself or for anything.”

“I thought I was going to make a difference for myself. That I was doing it because of my journey and what I went through. I just started thinking about Kathryn and if anything I do on that day can make it easier for her, if she HAS to walk this path, then I’ll go every year, every day, forever.”

Risa Levine – An Advocacy Success Story

Posted on February 23, 2016 by admin

This week, we’re sharing the story of infertility advocate, Risa Levine. Risa’s story is a great example of the work that can be done and the progress that can be made, when you’re willing to stand up and fight for a cause. We hope that it will inspire you, as it has us, and that you might decide to join us at Advocacy Day on May 11th in Washington, D.C.

Elizabeth

Risa’s Levine’s husband proposed to her with the words, “I want you as my wife, I want you as the mother of my children.” They married shortly after and, with Risa living in New York City and her husband in Washington, D.C., they had a commuter marriage for the first year. They both wanted children but Risa stayed on the pill, knowing that trying to conceive wouldn’t bode well for what was already a challenging relationship.

Eventually, Risa’s husband joined her in New York City and a few months into trying to conceive, she made an appointment with a reproductive endocrinologist. Her doctor was confident that a few IUIs was all she would need. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. IVF cycle after IVF cycle ensued. “I did my injections at the U.S. Open in the bathroom, I did them in the middle of a Springsteen concert concert, I did my trigger shot with a client in the car. I just pulled down my pants and just popped it in my butt. You name it, I did it everywhere,” Risa recalls.

On the first morning of the 2004 Democratic National Convention, Risa, who was involved in John Kerry’s campaign for presidency, had her blood drawn for the beta results of her first IUI before driving to Boston for the convention. “I got the phone call just as I crossed the Massachusetts border. I heard the magic words, ‘Congratulations, you’re pregnant!’”

Elated, Risa threw back the top of her convertible and blasted Bruce Springsteen for the rest of the trip. Sadly, her repeat beta two days later revealed her numbers were going down instead of up. She was losing the pregnancy. Just wanting to be at home, she left the convention before Kerry and Edwards gave their speeches.

Early on in treatment, Risa started advocating for infertility rights on her own. “I had a lifetime max on my insurance of $10,000. I can’t speak for the rest of the country, but in New York that lasted about 15 minutes. I mean, a hysterosalpingogram and then three consults and you’re dead,” she explains.

Risa went to Washington, D.C. prepared with homemade folders and information packets on infertility. She’d set up a meeting with Anthony Weiner, who had previously introduced the Family Building Act, legislation to mandate infertility coverage on a federal basis. It hadn’t gotten very far and Weiner wasn’t planning on introducing it again. “I said you’ve got to introduce it again. I was aggressive and pretty vocal,” Risa recalls. With her urging, Weiner reintroduced the legislation six months later. “As far as I’m concerned, Risa states, “Anthony Weiner is an infertility hero and I will maintain that to this day.”

Weiner’s office alerted RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association, that Risa was on Capitol Hill lobbying for their issues. RESOLVE’s president, Barb Collura, called Risa and asked her to join their advocacy efforts. So, Risa chaired her first Advocacy Day and continued working with RESOLVE while doing everything in her power to try to get pregnant. She tried acupuncture, Mayan abdominal massages, went to a physical therapist to manipulate her uterus. She traveled to Israel with her family and visited every rabbinic tomb in northern Israel, traveling by armored bus to Bethlehem and, wearing a red bracelet, prayed at the tomb of Rachel, who had also suffered from infertility. She even drank crushed red rubies because there’s a connection between rubies and fertility in the Talmud. She had more pregnancies but none of them lasted. It was a difficult time, made even more challenging with Risa’s husband struggling with depression and alcoholism. “My husband continued with the alcohol binges in and out of my cycles so I was either dealing with him in the hospital or me losing a pregnancy or both. It was just an up and down nightmare of both happening at the same time.”

Back in the U.S., Risa worked with then Senator Hillary Clinton’s office on infertility. “We went through every issue and they were extremely patient, very inquisitive, and they wanted to understand absolutely everything,” she recalls. While Clinton’s office didn’t think it was the right time to introduce the Family Building Act in the Senate, they promised to help. “I didn’t know what form that was going to take but I also know how Clinton operated and her methodology is that if she couldn’t do it legislatively, she always found another way.”

A few months later, RESOLVE received a phone call from the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) after Clinton had called them asking what they were doing about infertility. As a result, the CDC drafted a white paper, establishing a need to study infertility. That paper became the National Public Health Action Plan for the Detection, Prevention, and Management of Infertility. “When the CDC declares something a disease that requires study, it becomes a public health issue and that’s an enormous platform for our advocacy,” explains Risa.

In November of 2007, Risa was mid way through what would turn out to be her last frozen embryo cycle when her husband came home saying he thought there was going to be trouble at work and that she had to either cancel the cycle or he was divorcing her. “It was out of the blue and that was really super traumatic,” she recalls. “He canceled the cycle, then left shortly thereafter for in-patient rehab. I had a friend’s wedding and I couldn’t face it and I went to Iowa instead for Hillary because that’s what I do. That’s how I deal with things. I campaigned. It became about getting Hillary elected” Risa says, fighting back tears.

A couple of weeks passed and things at home seemed like they would be okay until her husband told her he had rented an apartment and would be moving out the following week. Risa expected that their divorce would be amicable but that wasn’t the case. Instead, it took the next two years. The main thing they fought about was the four embryos they still had in storage at Cornell. “My then father in law was adamant that I was not going to have those and he told his lawyer, who told my lawyer, that there was no amount of money that he wasn’t willing to spend to make sure that I didn’t have them.”

Knowing that she couldn’t afford to fight her father in law, Risa made the decision to donate the embryos to Cornell for research, believing that was the only way to make sense of losing them. She hoped that Cornell would be able to use the embryos for something meaningful, whether it was stem cell research, infertility research, or whatever else they chose to use them for. Risa recalls that she had to force herself to sign the consent to dispose of the embryos and that that’s when she broke down. “I’ll never see my children. I lost my kids. The hopes and dreams I had; celebrating their bar mitzvahs and college graduations and first days of school and all of that. There is no getting over that. There’s living with it but there’s no getting over it.”

Risa spent her life’s savings and then some on her treatment, “I don’t have a baby and I’m divorced. So, outcome wise. It’s not an effective use of funds, time, body, money, life in any way. By the time my divorce was final in 2010 I was 48 years old and I was broke and broken.”

Risa continues as an infertility advocate because she hopes that she can make sense of what happened to her by helping other people. She’s frustrated when she sees those in the infertility community build their families and then not turn around and try to help those who are still fighting to build theirs by writing a $10 check to RESOLVE once a year, writing a letter to their legislators, or showing up on Capitol Hill during Advocacy Day.

Risa hopes that through her advocacy work, eventually, nobody will have to go through what she went through. Her next fight will be at the first New York Advocacy Day, Tuesday April 12^th in Albany for coverage of IVF and legalized compensated surrogacy and she will be in D.C. again on May 11^th, lobbying for family building legislation. “I fight so that people can have success,” she says. “I want them to have success.”

Infertility is…How I’ve Met Some of My Favorite People.

Posted on September 18, 2015 by admin

At the RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association Tri-State Walk of Hope last weekend in New Jersey, we brought out our “Infertility is…” cards again and asked those in attendance to share their thoughts. When I was looking through them this week, the first thing that popped into my head about my own experience with Infertility is how it’s brought so many amazing people into my life. We had a chance, after corresponding via phone and email with them over the past year or so, to finally meet some of those amazing people in person at the Walk.

There are too many to count, and I don’t get to keep in touch with most as often as I would like. However, each of the people I have met along this journey mean so much to me. There are those who share their stories with the project, reminding me that I’m not alone in my journey. There are late night exchanges of advice with support group friends via Facebook messenger and emails from people around the world sharing art they have created during their infertility journeys. There are the doctors and other infertility professionals who have opened their doors to us to learn more about the project and those sharing their time and talents with the ART of Infertility community by presenting art and writing workshops. I’ve found an amazing network of incredible people, passionate about their desires to build their families, and passionate about helping others do the same.

So, this week, I’m sharing some of the new cards from the walk with you and asking you, my infertility friends, to share with us what “Infertility is” to you. What makes the experience so hard? What are the silver linings? Is there anything surprising that has come out of your experience? One of my favorite, surprising, outcomes of the ART of Infertility project is having the opportunity to connect the friends I meet along the way to each other so they can build a bigger network of support.

Is there anything else you feel you need extra help with or support for that we could help you with? Are there things you would like to see ART of Infertility offer that we don’t currently? We’d love to hear from you, our friends in infertility and art!

Elizabeth

My Spiritual Awakening: Thoughts from Renee Waggener of Xtraordinary Fertility

Posted on August 27, 2015 by admin

I’m constantly amazed by the opportunities for meeting those dealing with infertility, and helping them on their journey through art and story telling, that ART of IF is allowing me as the project grows. One upcoming opportunity is to present a prayer flag art workshop at the Revive Your Baby Making Mojo retreat in Ben Lomond, CA. Ben Lamond is located in the Santa Cruz Mountains, where the Redwoods meet the ocean. Sounds awesome, right?! It’s an incredible experience any time there’s an opportunity to get together with others living with infertility so I hope you’ll consider joining me in California to create some art around your infertility experience. There’s still room at the retreat and it’s an amazing value ($197 includes food, lodging, and all activities when you register by September 1st) with a great line up. This event is being hosted by Renee Waggener of Xtraordinary Fertility October 2-4. Maria and I met Renee at RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association’s Advocacy Day this year and she is sharing as our guest blogger this week. Thanks, Renee, for inviting ART of IF to share through art making at your retreat and for sharing with us through your blog post this week!

Elizabeth

My Spiritual Awakening

I just got done listening to 13 speakers in the Meditation your way to Millions Master Class lead by one of my super hero’s Lisa Cherney. It was awesome. Each speaker gave away super cool tools and insight into what “spiritual Practice” has lead to their business success. I found so many parallels in how you integrate your spiritual habits into building a business with how each of us builds a family. This sooo doesn’t surprise me, because the same section or chakra of our bodies… the root chakra is all about “Creation”. Whether it’s a creation of a business or we are creating a baby thru our bodies or adoption… we still need a spiritual “Practice” to help each of these succeed.

I’ve never really tooted my own spiritual horn because I really believe that we each need our freedom to choose for ourselves what works for each of us. And one of the things that really hit me in the summit is that I need to start speaking more from my heart when it comes to spirit and the message that I’m spreading with Fertility. I believe deeply that each of us is surrounded by a team of angels, guides, God, Universe, Mother Earth… and sometimes I call all of that “Spirit”. You call it what feels right for you.

My personal spiritual practice has gone in waves through the years. Sometimes I do something and sometimes I don’t, which is when I’m hiding or scared to connect.

This past year, I’ve put into practice a journaling exercise that I’ve been consistent with and it has opened me up to more possibilities, new relationships and deeper growth on my own personal purpose path in helping all of you in the fertility community.

Now that I’ve listened to these awesome speakers and what they do; I’ve realized it’s time to step up my practice. This is so much more than thinking positive, or prayer. It’s building a life practice that will not only help me help you, but more than that it will deepen my connection to spirit, give me more confidence to “Let Go of the outcome” (harder to do) and Really Trust in the process so that I can reach more people and help them (YOU) have babies and ultimately live a Fertilicious Life well into parenthood.

With that I really want to give to you today’s tips:

Knowledge is Power. There are many treatment options available for your infertility, so the more you know about each procedure will help you to make an empowered decision for you and your partner. There’s no one size fits all solution here. Don’t compare your decision based on what others do. Also, when you do the research, you don’t have to make a decision right away. Let it sit and let your intuition guide you on your “next best” choice.

Tick-Tock. Determine how long you will try to conceive. Being on the same page as your partner is important and you should agree on this. There is no right or wrong decision here. Choose a reasonable length that is comfortable for you and your partner. Also, know that this can be subject to change at anytime. Maybe even schedule in some breaks to where you are NOT thinking of your fertility.

Cha-Ching! Determine how much money you are willing to spend on treatment. As you may already know, fertility treatments can be costly. It’s important for the health of your relationship to determine how much money you are willing to part with. Again, this number will be different for each couple. It has to work for you! Also, look at your relationship with money. Do you have some beliefs around money that inhibit you? (I.e. I’m broke all the time = I’m unworthy) Notice this, then call me because I can help with this at the Revive Your Baby Making Mojo Retreat October 2-4.

Register Here

I look forward to seeing if this touched you at all. Please post a comment on FB if it did.

Facebook

With Peace and Light,

Renee

s/m/othering

Posted on August 19, 2015 by admin

We’re featuring artwork from the project’s permanent collection in this week’s blog post. Marissa McClure has created this piece, s/m/othering, in which she has removed the babies, children, and reproductive organs from well known pieces of art. She then invites others to choose an image that speaks to them and share their reaction to the image by pasting it, along with their narrative, in a book.

We’ve been traveling with the book and it’s been in Iowa City, Los Angeles, Washington, D.C., and Northern California with us so far. We’re sharing some images and stories from the piece this post and you can look for us, and the book, at our upcoming events in New Jersey, Michigan, California, Illinois, and Arizona where we’ll invite you to share your own story through Marissa’s piece, mini interviews and photo sessions, and some other fun interactive projects we have planned.

You can read Marissa’s complete paper on s/m/othering at this link. Thank you, Marissa, for sharing your art with us!

Tri-State, NJ Walk of Hope

Posted on July 17, 2015 by admin

Maria and I met when we both attended RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association’s Advocacy Day in Washington, D.C. in May of 2014 and quickly bonded over the fact that we were both peer-led support group hosts for the organization. RESOLVE’s signature fundraising event is their Walk of Hope, which takes place around the country.

The ART of IF will be at the Tri-State walk in New Jersey on September 12. We’ll be a community sponsor, to help further RESOLVE’s wonderful work in advocating legislation that helps those with infertility build their families. Our table will have examples from the exhibit on display and we will be doing mini interviews for that project. We’re also putting together a fundraising team. Let us know if you’d like to join us!

Jenna Marinelli is the chair of the walk this year and we’ve asked her to tell us some more about the walk and her personal reasons for walking through our blog this week. Thanks, Jenna, for sharing your story!

Elizabeth

RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association is hosting the 1^st Annual Tri-State Walk of Hope and we are looking for you to join us!!

The Walk of Hope is RESOLVE’s signature fundraising event. This is a community event that recognizes the many ways in which families are built, supports local support services and programs for the 7.4 million men and women living with infertility. A Walk of Hope event represents the infertility journey—a series of small steps, each one filled with hope and a reminder that no one with infertility should walk alone. One Morning, One Mile, One Community.

Local facts:

More than 992,000 women in the Tri-State area (New York, Connecticut, New Jersey and Pennsylvania) are impacted by infertility.
There are only 30 peer-led support groups in the Tri-State area.
New York, New Jersey and Connecticut have insurance mandates for fertility coverage.

After participating in the Washington, D.C. Walk of Hope for past 3 years, I am honored to be the Chair of the inaugural Tri-State Walk of Hope on September 12th, 2015 at Overpeck County Park – Ridgefield Park Area in New Jersey. This event gives me the incredible opportunity to connect with others struggling with their own infertility, often silently and alone.

Jenna has raised the most for the Washington, D.C. Walk for multiple years. She’s now taking her energy to NJ as the Tri-State walk’s chair.

My story dates back to June 2010, exactly one year after marrying my high school sweetheart, when I was diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure at the age of 26. POF is defined as the loss of ovarian function before the age of 40. It occurs in 1 in 1,000, or 1%, of women between the ages of 15 and 29, with the average onset being 27 years old. Currently, there is no cure and no proven treatment that can restore the normal functioning of the ovaries or fertility. Women with POF are recommended IVF with donor eggs or to pursue adoption. POF also has lifelong health implications beyond fertility, particularly with regard to cardiovascular and bone health with greater risks for developing osteoporosis, estrogen deficiency and heart disease.

As of today, my infertility “resume” includes 3 failed IUI’s, 4 cancelled IVF’s using my eggs, and 1 Donor Egg IVF that ended in a Chemical Pregnancy. We do not live in a state that mandates infertility coverage (PA), so we pay out of pocket for everything. This is why we need everyone’s help raising awareness to infertility, so hopefully one day there will be more options & treatments available for couples faced with this disease. We are currently gearing up for our next cycle using Frozen Donor Eggs! I hope that sharing my journey can bring awareness and help even one person. I am a survivor! I will beat infertility!

Please join me for this walk so that no one struggles alone. Registration is free and all are welcome to attend. Both teams and individuals may register. The Walk of Hope also offers fun and activities for all ages. All funds donated will go directly to RESOLVE to further its work. Visit our website today at resolve.org/tristatewalk.

The walk will be held at the beautiful Overpeck County Park.

The walk will be held at the beautiful Overpeck Country Park.

Other ways to help

Follow the Tri-State Walk of Hope on Facebook and Twitter.

We need talented, dedicated, and hard-working volunteers to plan, promote and implement the Walk of Hope. For more information, please contact Jenna Marinelli at njnywalkofhope@gmail.com for details. Volunteering for the Tri-State Walk of Hope is a great way to support the hundreds of thousands of people diagnosed with infertility and have some fun! Each year we rely on the generosity of dozens of volunteers to create a very successful event for the infertility community.

To sponsor the Tri-State Walk of Hope please contact Jenna Marinelli at njnywalkofhope@gmail.com or Jenlene Nowak at 703.556.7172. Our sponsoring partners are very important to RESOLVE’s Walk of Hope. Your support of this event will allow RESOLVE to create a great day for all those choosing to walk with us. Plus you’ll show your clients and customers that people with infertility matter.

Jenna

Angela’s Advocacy Day Interview

Posted on June 29, 2015 by admin

Maria and I had the pleasure of documenting a bit of Angela’s story when we were in Washington, D.C. last month. Angela did multiple rounds of IVF with both her own eggs and donor eggs before adopting her son domestically. Thanks, Angela, for sharing your story with us so others will know they are not alone!

Elizabeth

Angela talks about her experience with open adoption and the frequency with which she has contact with her son’s birth mother.

For more information on adoption, the Creating a Family website is a great resource. They even have a radio show that can how information on the different types of adoption and how to decide which one is right for you and this quick comparison chart on the different types of adoption.

Angela is a RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association Ambassador and a peer-led support group host. You can play the audio clip to hear about how Angela got involved with the organization. (She references Redbook’s Truth About Trying campaign in this clip. You can check out some of the videos from the campaign at this link but will have to scroll to the bottom to find them.)

Click on this link to find a RESOLVE support group near you. If there isn’t one in your area, you can email info@resolve.org to talk to someone about starting one. There’s no substitute for in person, “real life” groups and the support they provide. It was through a RESOLVE support group that I became comfortable with my diagnosis, sharing my story, and ultimately wanting to do infertility advocacy, resulting in ART of Infertility!

Infertility is…

Posted on May 28, 2015 by admin

While we were in Washington, D.C. for RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association’s Advocacy Day and for our pop-up gallery and workshops at Busboys and Poets a couple of weeks ago, we asked those in attendance to fill out cards describing what “infertility is” to them. You’ll see some of them throughout this post, from Elizabeth. You can see more by viewing a slideshow at this link.

When I think of infertility, I think of many things. How I view infertility and what it means to me has changed as I’ve traveled through my journey.

Infertility is… devastating.

Infertility is…feeling left behind.

Infertility is…an identity crisis.

I was pregnant once, as a result of a frozen embryo transfer, and only knew I was pregnant for a few days before learning that the pregnancy was ending in an early miscarriage. During those few days, I was excited, hopeful and cautiously optimistic, that after four years of timed intercourse, hormone injections, and 7 a.m. ultrasound appointments, I might finally become a parent. However, I was also experiencing some serious anxiety and a complete identity crisis.

The early years of infertility were extremely difficult. However, once I was used to the fact that I had an infertility diagnosis (for the most part anyway), I settled in to my place as an infertile woman and RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association peer-led support group host. I read books on infertility, I knew which foods to eat to boost my egg quality (and incorporated excessive quantities of them into my diet), I had infertile friends, and was beginning to perfect my answers to the question, “Do you have kids?”, recite them with conviction, and be ready for any follow up questions that came my way.

When I found out I was pregnant, though obviously happy, I was also confused about where I would fit in. What would happen to my relationships with my infertile friends who I would leave behind? What would my role within RESOLVE become? The first ART of Infertility exhibit was on the schedule at the Ella Sharp Museum in Jackson and I remember being a bit upset that I had to stay in the world of infertility to work on it, instead of being able to enjoy my pregnancy. I was terrified of moving into the world of someone who was pregnant after infertility. I was even feeling exhausted about the fact that, after watching my diet for years to GET pregnant, I’d need to watch my diet for another 9 months in order to make sure my baby was getting the nutrition it would need. It was a mix of thoughts and emotions. A complete identity crisis, over the course of less than 72 hours.

I wish I would have gotten the chance to figure out how I would incorporate all of the thoughts and fears above into my new identity as a woman who was parenting after infertility. I haven’t gotten there yet and might even eventually choose to live child free. I’m still trying to navigate figuring out my identity a bit. However, through working on the ART of Infertility, I feel like I am really finding my footing. Because of this project, my view is now that

Infertility is…meeting amazing people, around the country and around the world, who understand how the disease impacts my life, because they’re living it too.

Infertility is…educating health care professionals about how they can better serve their patients.

Infertility is…hosting art and writing workshops to give others the creative outlet that I have found so helpful along the way.

Infertility is…visiting amazing cities and sharing the infertility stories of those who live there.

Please share with us what “Infertility is” to you.

-Elizabeth

ART of IF

The official blog of the traveling art exhibit and oral history project, ART of Infertility.

Tag Archives: National Infertility Association

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Tri-State, NJ Walk of Hope

Angela’s Advocacy Day Interview

Infertility is…