Tag Archives: #MensHealth

The Aftermath of a Male Factor Infertility Diagnosis

Posted on by
Reply

While we have more men sharing their stories with us through artwork and interviews these days, they’re still underrepresented in our project and in the media as a whole. By participating in Men’s Health Month, we’re hoping to shed light on how infertility affects men and encourage more men to use art as a tool in coping with their disease.

In this post from the blog archives, originally posted in July of last year, we hear from ART of IF interview participant and artist, Chas. We’re sharing his artwork at our pop-up exhibit at The Turek Clinic in San Francisco next week, and I just confirmed that he and his wife, Audrey, will be attending as well! Please plan to join us to check out the show, create something of your own at our art making stations, and enjoy food, wine, and the company of others in the infertility community, like Chas. You can get your free tickets here.
– Elizabeth

 “We would have cute kids!”

That was the line I said to my wife while we were in college. Forward? Sure. Did I mean it? Yes. Did I know it would take 3 years and 7 IUI’s to finally have a child? Definitely not.

My wife and I wanted to do the things that we felt we had to do before we had kids. You know: get married, careers, buy a house, travel, etc. It wasn’t until my college roommates had their first child in May of 2012 that we sat down and said, “We want a child. We want to experience that kind of love.”

Flash forward 3-4 months of trying, we both felt something was wrong but due to our medical coverage we had to wait a full calendar year of trying to conceive before diagnostic tests could be run. In June of 2013 we were finally referred to our reproductive endocrinologist and the tests began. All of my wife’s tests came back with nothing wrong with her, but I was a different story.

DSC_5682s

Low motility and low sperm count. That is what my semen analysis (SA) read. I was angry. How could this happen? I have never done illegal drugs, I can count on one hand the times I had smoked a cigar, I workout, eat well, take care of my body, What the hell? Did I do my fair share of the college bar scene? Sure, but it’s not like I drank a fifth of Jack Daniels a night. This had to be wrong. Then the next SA three weeks later had the same results. I couldn’t wrap my head around it. Why me?

DSC_5470s

I was diagnosed with unexplained male factor infertility.  When I was diagnosed with male factor infertility I truly did go though the 5 stages of grief. At first I wanted more SA’s because I was a red-blooded American male and nothing could be wrong with me. Denial. Then when all 5 those SA’s came back the same I was angry at myself, and my body for failing me, with my anger directed towards anyone who crossed my path. I would snap at the littlest things and pick fights just to fight. The anger really stayed for a long time. After that came the bargaining: if I take these infertility vitamins and change my diet that should do the trick. It worked for other people it had to work for me. When the vitamins and diet change didn’t work the depression set in. This is when things got pretty bad. I was truly numb to the world. I disconnected from my wife. She would ask me a question about my day and I would give one-word answers. I couldn’t find the joy in the things I use to love doing. I didn’t want to be around anyone, I just wanted to stay home in the dark. After our 6th IUI failed during National Infertility Awareness Week 2014the acceptance finally started. My wife had posted something on a social media site that she didn’t know other people could see, outed if you will, our struggle to have a child to our friends and family. The cat was out of the bag so to speak.  After that only love and support followed from our friends and family. With that love and support we did a picture for NIAW and we also made a team for the Northern California Walk of Hope.

Chas_NIAW Having to watch my wife take pills and get injections probably was one of the worst parts of the whole IUI process.  The pills gave her hot flashes and I handled that pretty well I think. I always had something to cool her down. The injections were hard to watch. I know IVF injections are more extensive but watching her give herself Menopur injections sucked. Watching her do the pain dance, as we called it, always got to me, but the bruises afterwards would bring tears to my eyes. I had to helplessly stand by and watch as my wife had to go through this for something my body was failing to do.

The infertility community as a whole has been so amazing. My wife and I have met so many amazing people going through the challenges of infertility. I don’t think I have ever met that many people that truly pull for you to succeed in that capacity. There is such a kinship in the community that you really do have to experience it and cannot be qualified into words.

If putting my story out there can change one man’s mind for the better about Male Factor Infertility I would feel I accomplished my goal for this blog. Unfortunately, there really isn’t research and support out there for MFI. Why is it on rise? Chemical age? Maybe, but there is no concrete proof. This is especially true for unexplained MFI. There is no need to feel ashamed and disconnected from your partner no matter the diagnosis you are in this together.

Chas_Preg

Men, Infertility, and Depression

Posted on by
Reply

We hear a lot about how infertility affects women’s emotional well being and less about how it affects men. It’s important that we pay some special attention to how men’s lives are impacted by the disease, especially when, according to the Centers for Disease Control, suicide is the 7th leading cause of death for all men in the United States and there are 4 times as many deaths to suicide for males than females.

men_depression_vectorstock_51405_web

We have found that art and writing can be a great outlet for dealing with the stress of infertility and are excited to team up with The Turek Clinic in San Francisco for Picture Your Fertility: An Interactive Art Event for #MensHealth. It’s an opportunity for men to let out some frustration through guy-friendly art and writing stations, get information about health and well being, and learn they aren’t alone in their infertility through the artwork, portraits, and stories of other men and their families dealing with similar situations. This free event is open to the public and will be held on Thursday June 16 from 7 – 9 pm. You can get your tickets here. We hope you will join us! In the meantime, check out this great info, below, from Austin Klise’s HuffPost Healthy Living Blog 4 Strategies to Help Men Get through Depression.

4 Strategies to Help Men Get Through Depression
by Austine Klise
HuffPost Healthy Living Blog

Tip #1 Understand His Depression “There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.” ― Laurell K. Hamilton

One of the largest misconceptions about depression is that it is a feeling – which is part of the reason men are so reluctant to talk about it. Yes, it is a feeling but it is also much more. Not only does it effect people on an emotional level but it also drains them physically and psychologically. The chemical imbalance in the brain slowly causes the body to shut down. That is why if your partner is depressed, he will be lacking the motivation to hit the gym or to pursue a once cherished hobby. With this in mind, the first thing you can do to help is make sure he is eating a balanced diet and is exercising. Buy fresh food, avoid stocking the fridge with highly caffeinated products and booze, and see if he will go walking with you. These are all easy and are tremendously helpful, but won’t necessarily combat the depression itself. For that, we go to Tip #2.

Tip #2 Acknowledging His Depression  “Never ignore the elephant in the room. That’s rude; play with it and introduce it.” ― Donna Lynn Hope

Confronting his depression will be tough but is absolutely necessary if you are going to help reverse its course. What you’re going to be doing here isn’t confronting him and telling him he is depressed. Trust me, he knows he depressed or at least that something is wrong. The goal is to show him that you acknowledge he is going through something and that asking for help is okay. I’ve broken it down into
four steps –

  1. Approach him where he is comfortable, at home or maybe your favorite date spot. Make sure you have privacy and enough time to talk (at least an hour).
  2. Tell him you noticed he has been “feeling down” lately. I would avoid using the word “depressed” because it could trigger the walls to go straight up. Bring up examples – but do so in a gentle way.
  3. Explain your mutual goal – you BOTH want him to feel better.
  4. Depressed men feel isolated in their pain and hopelessness. Explain that asking for help is a sign of strength not of weakness.

Tip #3 Self Care  “The Best Health Care Plan Is A Self Care Plan” ― Nina Leavins

“In the event of a decompression, an oxygen mask will automatically appear in front of you. If you are travelling with a child or someone who requires assistance, secure your own mask first, and then assist the other person.”

If you’ve ever been on an airplane you’ve likely heard some iteration these words. While growing up they confused me because it seemed like it would make more sense to help the helpless and vulnerable first, but with age I realized that if you are incapacitated you won’t be of any help to anyone. The same goes for caring for a man with depression. You need to secure your own mental stability before you can help him.

The difference in a situation with male depression as opposed to other diseases is that the frustration and stress isn’t going to come in the traditional way. You won’t be stretched thin providing medical assistance to him or running back and forth from a hospital. But, rather the emotional connection you have with your partner will be taxed. Because of the nature of depression he won’t be as connected or invested in your relationship as he was when he was healthy. He might become more combative or more withdrawn, depending on how the depression affects him. Don’t get pulled into this or take it personally. Do what you need to do to stay healthy. Connect with friends, exercise, or shop – you have an identity outside of your relationship.

Tip #4 Involve the Professionals

Getting professional medical personnel involved is the most critical step as it is the most effective way to cure the depression. I understand it can be incredibly hard to get a guy to see doctor, for even the most routine of checkups, let alone getting him to see a therapist or psychologist for depression. Here are some ways to make it easier:

  1. Ask him to do it for you or your family. Tell him it will bring you peace of mind if he sees someone.
  2. See the right doctor – Ask if you can set up an appointment with your family doctor so they can go over the problem. It will be an easier push for him to see a family doc as oppose to a “shrink.”
  3. Call ahead – Tell the doctor what his symptoms have been. Your testimony might bring up things your partner could miss or will neglect to share.

June is Men’s Health Month: Fertility is Not Just a Woman’s Issue

Posted on by
Reply

Today we join Men’s Health Network and kick off Men’s Health Month. The goal of this health advocacy campaign is to educate the public about the many preventable health problems that affect men and boys, and empower them and their loved ones to move towards a healthier, happier life.

The ART of Infertility views this campaign as a reminder that behind every baby is a male. Men’s health is a family issue. It affects wives, mothers, daughters, and sisters. Thinking about #MensHealth and encouraging our male partners to see a fertility specialist can often be a step towards building one’s family. 

Knowing this, today feature a guest blog post from Sean at Men’s Health Network who talks about the importance of having healthy dads. And remember to join us June 16 from 7:00-9:00 for an interactive art exhibit featuring stories and art about Men’s Health and their fertility at The Turek Clinic. 

Building healthy men means more healthy families

By Sean McCalley, Men’s Health Network

1994 was a rough year.

John Candy passed away. Someone attacked Nancy Kerrigan at the Olympics. Major League Baseball went on strike. The album of the year was the soundtrack to The Bodyguard.

It wasn’t all bad, though. The show Friends and the band Weezer debuted. So did the movie Forrest Gump. Jack Nicholson even used a golf club to show a car who’s boss.

More importantly, Congress also passed a bill declaring “National Men’s Health Week” to Men's Health Month Bannercoincide with Father’s Day and raise awareness for a global crisis. President Bill Clinton signed it into law; now, it’s an annual call to action for people around the world as part of Men’s Health Month.

Men die five years younger than women, on average. They also die at higher rates for nine of the top ten causes of death in the United States. That includes heart disease, cancer, suicide, accidents, etc. Men simply have a harder time staying healthy.

Part of the problem is cultural. We men are fighters who laugh in the face of danger. It’s partly genetic, as some racial demographics have a higher risk for certain diseases. Sometimes, it’s personal; like getting so mad you do something you might regret later.

Whatever the reason, men need all the help we can get to have long, healthy lives – even if we don’t want to admit it. That’s why Men’s Health Month is so important, and why it’s still going strong after 22 years. The campaign is centered on education and outreach than spans from the community level to Congress.

Governors and mayors issue proclamations for Men’s Health Week in their jurisdictions to promote and highlight Fathers Day. Private businesses host health screenings, as do government agencies, churches, fraternities, and many other organizations. People share their personal stories on social media.

The hope is to persuade us stubborn men to take at least one second (but preferably a MHM-no-date-dark-red-0415month) to look at our health situation, make inventory, and figure out how to make it better. Sometimes men just decide to make a family member happy and finally see a doctor for that mole; for others, it’s a question of maturity or finding financial flexibility.

Whatever the reason, the goal is to make us better men. Luckily, it’s worth the effort.

Here are some tips on how we can make this Men’s Health Month the best one yet:

  1. Fathers can set an example for their kids by making an appointment for a checkup. Healthy men make healthy families.
  2. Let someone know that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness or lack of ability. Men are just as likely as women to suffer from a mental health issue; however, they’re less likely to be diagnosed, and four times more likely to commit suicide.
  3. In the public health realm, make sure the connection is clear between a man’s health and the health of his family and community. Most people intuitively understand the role mothers play in supporting their children’s health. Too few however, understand that having a healthy father is just as important.
  4. Participate in the Men’s Health Month #ShowUsYourBlue day on Friday, June 17. Send in pictures of you and your friends wearing blue and post them on social media using #ShowUsYourBlue.