Group works to educate its community and raise funds for infertility treatment.

Posted on July 19, 2016 by admin

We’ve been pretty quiet on social media since returning from San Francisco because we’ve been busy working behind the scenes. Maria has been hard at work on her dissertation and I’ve been working with a student to reorganize and inventory all of our supplies and artwork. We’ve both been working on our 501(c)(3) paperwork and working with hosts in cities around the country to plan upcoming exhibits and workshops. Those that are confirmed are on our schedule. We hope you’ll join us!

In today’s guest blog post, we’re bringing you the story of a group of infertility friends in Indiana who has put together an infertility outreach and fundraiser event in their community. They plan to provide infertility education, fun activities for kids and adults, and to raise money to help those in their group pay for treatment. Thank you Brandy and Kelly Jania, Jennifer and DJ Cavenaugh, Jessica and Steve Ziller, and Amanda and Sherman Wallace, for educating your community and sharing your stories!

-Elizabeth

Group works to educate its community and raise funds for infertility treatment.

On Saturday June 21, 2014 the RESOLVE Peer-led Infertility Support Group first met at an eclectic coffee shop in Crown Point, Indiana. It began with the intention of preventing women and couples from feeling the isolation that infertility can cause. Brandy, the group founder exclaims, “I have to be honest. I started the group for kind of selfish reasons because I needed support! I never expected to gain true friendships with some of the strongest women I have ever met!”

The group began with three women and as of June 2016 the group has seen 35 women participate at various levels. As the group passed our two-year anniversary we took a moment to celebrate four miracles and the highly anticipated arrival of one rainbow baby expected in August!

These women not only offer physical support by meeting on a monthly basis but offer emotional support and encouragement, laughter, infertility education, personal experiences and let’s not forget the “can you believe what I was told?!” support. Jennifer says “The group makes me feel normal. I don’t feel like an outcast even though we all have different journeys. With it I don’t feel alone.” Amanda shared “The group gives me hope that I can make a family and makes me feel like I am not alone.” Our support group meets on the third Saturday of every month at 10 am at Sip and is looking to offer support to any woman who may feel alone.

The flier for the Fighting for Our Families Infertility Education and Fundraiser Event

In the state of Indiana, IVF can range in cost from $10,000 – $20,000. Medication costs can add another $3,000 – $6,000. Indiana is not required to provide infertility insurance coverage, as it is considered “elective”. Therefore, most looking to pursue infertility treatments are forced to pay out of pocket for treatments rendered. Some members from the group decided to plan the outreach/fundraiser event, Fighting for Our Families. It is scheduled for Saturday July 30^th from 10 am to 2 pm at Fire Station 2, 7905 Taft St. Merrillville, IN and will have various speakers and educators as it relates to the infertility journey. There will also be vendors selling merchandise, a silent auction, activities for children, a DJ, bean bag tournament, 50/50 raffle, t-shirt sales, a bake sale, and lots of food! Jessica shares her feelings about the event saying “I am most excited about getting information out to the public. Facts. Where to find help and where to find support. I feel the State of Indiana really lacks the resources and information to help people through the rollercoaster that is the infertility process.”

When asked about the event, Brandy states “I am most excited about seeing the community as a whole come together. I mean, how incredible to see people coming together to offer support and learn information on a topic that seems so taboo.”

This year’s event will offer all funds received to be given to four couples: Brandy and Kelly Jania; Jennifer and DJ Cavenaugh; Jessica and Steve Ziller, and Amanda and Sherman Wallace. Read their personal stories below and please consider attending the event.

The Janias – We were married September 19, 2008 and in November 2010 we agreed we were ready to start a family. Our 5 ½ year journey has taken us to 2 OBGYN’s, 3 fertility specialists, HSG test, 9 clomid cycles, 2 unsuccessful IUI’s, Laparoscopy, 1 cyst measuring 10 inches with 2 ounces of fluid drained, 2 successful IVF’s that resulted in miscarriages, and endless blood work. Upwards of $30,000 later, we come before you with heavy hearts and empty arms but deeply hopeful for the long awaited positive pregnancy test and then a healthy and beautiful delivery of a baby of our own. We have been together for 13 years and have both devoted our professional lives to helping people; Brandy working in Social Services and Kelly working in the EMS field. We are by no means financially well off; however, the public service jobs are not fields to enter in hopes of becoming rich. After our most recent loss on March 17, 2016 we began seeing a Recurrent Miscarriage Specialist to determine next steps which appear to be a 3rd round of IVF.

The Cavenaughs – DJ and I decided to start trying for a family in 2009. We never expected to go through all that we have and continue to do. After trying for a year we tried Clomid and got pregnant. Unfortunately, we miscarried a week later. Through an infertility specialist we went through 3 unsuccessful rounds of IUI with injectable medications. We got pregnant again naturally; this time miscarried a few days later. We have gone through 4 IVF retrievals since then with 10 embryo transfers. 2 Frozen Embryo Transfer cycles we were lucky enough to get pregnant with twins each time, sadly both of those pregnancies ended shortly after. Our last pregnancy we conceived naturally. This was the best looking one yet! Levels rose wonderfully and we were filled with so much hope. When I went for my 1^st ultrasound the nurse said after a few minutes of looking, I’m sorry, there’s nothing here. I didn’t understand how that was possible. After waiting as long as we could it was determined to be ectopic, or a pregnancy of unknown location and I was given shots to end it. All this heart break but we are still Fighting for our Family!

The Zillers– We have been on this journey for 5 years now, which has consisted of extensive testing, surgeries and procedures including blood work, hysterosalpingogram, two D & Cs, hysteroscopy, laparoscopy and sperm count tests. In November of 2015 through the recommendation of our fertility physician we attempted an unsuccessful IUI. During the testing for the IUI we learned that Jessica has a low AMH level. A Low AMH level could mean our time is running out as her egg quantity may be very low. The current recommendation by our physician is to attempt IVF. IVF is very expensive and without fertility coverage the last 5 years have drained us. It’s hard to sit idly by knowing that every month that passes while we save for IVF, could be bring us closer to a sad end of our journey.

The Wallaces – We have been trying to conceive for 5 years. In our years of trying to conceive we have seen 4 fertility specialists and undergone numerous tests. Every Doctor gives us different diagnoses which can be frustrating when trying to identify a plan. Through the various doctors it was determined that Amanda does not ovulate regularly, at one point had a blocked fallopian tube and other recently diagnosed medical conditions that make it difficult to conceive. After testing, Amanda was placed on Metformin and did rounds of Letrozole, which did assist with ovulation but left us with negative pregnancy tests. One doctor recommended IUI treatment. With all the medications, lab and procedure cost it was just not a financial option at the time. We’re hoping that with savings and some help from fundraising that we will be able to proceed with the treatment and achieve our dream of having our own little miracle.

#startasking How can I find support in my infertility journey?

Posted on April 27, 2016 by admin

Infertility can be one of the most isolating, lonely experiences out there. It’s essential to connect with others who “get it” but it’s not always that easy to do so. In today’s post, Sarah Powell shares the story of reaching her breaking point and reaching out for support. Several months ago, Sarah approached me about starting the ART of Infertility Pen Pal Project as a way to connect people with similar stories for friendship and support. So, we are happy to launch it today during National Infertility Awareness Week. Read on to hear Sarah’s story and learn how you can be matched with an Infertility Pen Pal who shares a similar path.

Elizabeth

It isn’t all that often that people who are diagnosed with infertility are brave enough to share their story. That is exactly how I felt when my husband and I received our diagnosis seven years ago. At that time, my way of dealing with infertility was going to different doctors, four different clinics in fact, hoping that one would give me a different answer than the last. Then, taking a lot of time to research and process what they told me. For the first few years, I barely talked to anyone about it, sometimes not even my husband, and dodged questions from everyone left and right. I tried to put on a happy face at baby showers, birthday parties, family events, and with the pregnancy announcements of what seemed like EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. OF. MY. DEAREST. FRIENDS. I emailed my closest friends and family and told them NOT to ask questions. I didn’t know the right path forward and my husband didn’t know what to say and when to say it no matter how hard he tried. Everyone who has ever dealt with infertility knows that you feel very, very alone and most times responsible with every failed test you get but need to keep forging forward with the rest of your life. It is an AWFUL, ISOLATING feeling.

A lot of times in our lives, people near what we call our breaking point. One thing happens and it just pushes you over the edge. As it relates to infertility, I remember moments of mine, though not all the finite details. It was a Saturday morning and my monthly visitor had shown up yet again when I would have given anything for it not to. I woke up that day and was in an awful mood, likely yelling at my husband about everything insignificant, poor guy didn’t stand a chance that day. Because I was in a bad mood, everything was overwhelming me, laundry, dishes, errands, the list went on – but they were really just daily tasks that suddenly became impossible. I decided to do some dishes and was at the sink furiously scrubbing glasses, crashing down plates, and almost throwing the pans. At that point, my husband who was trying to be helpful said something related to infertility or my period coming or something like that and then I BROKE. I remember almost falling to the floor, sobbing and having him pick me up and carry me to the couch where I just sobbed and sobbed for what seemed like hours. I tend to not share my feelings, and while my husband was doing his best, he wasn’t the one responsible for my infertility and he wasn’t infertile himself. I realized I needed to find someone like me, someone who could understand my diagnosis, someone who could relate.

Sarah, top left, on the “Contribution Tree” in the first ART of Infertility exhibit at Ella Sharp Museum in Jackson, MI 2014.

I searched and searched the Internet. In a world that has become so electronic and saavy with social media, I was shocked to find there wasn’t an easy way for me to reach out to others with my disease. I wanted a phone number, an email address, something. I tend to be an introvert so it’s not easy for me to connect to people, it was very daunting. Add the taboo subject of infertility and it made it that much more difficult. I did find information on support groups in my area – but just kept the information in my mind for several months because I was TERRIFIED. Eventually, after much coaxing by my husband, I did attend a meeting but lets be honest, meetings and support groups aren’t for everyone. I realized that there has to be an easier way for those to connect privately from their own homes to people who are like them.

I realized I needed to find someone like me, someone who could understand my diagnosis, someone who could relate.

Sarah and Elizabeth at Advocacy Day in 2014.

As a result we are happy to introduce the Infertility Pen Pal Project. This project will allow us to connect individuals on a one-on-one basis who have similar backgrounds and diagnosis. Friendships in the infertility arena can become difficult because while the goal is for people to find success, if you are one of the ones who hasn’t yet, you struggle between being happy for your friend but sad for what you want so badly. We want to be able to connect you to people who are where you are, and reconnect you with someone else if you just don’t click or your penpal finds success and it’s hard for you to handle. We are hoping this project will help some overcome the feeling of being alone when talking to a group about your story is too much. Since this is National Infertility Awareness Week, we encourage you to #startasking for what you need so you can get that support. We hope that the pen pal project will make it a little easier for some of you.

If you are interested in participating, fill out the web form at this link and we will be in touch.

Reactions from an Intern

Posted on March 31, 2016 by admin

By Danielle Bucco

As a 21-year-old college student, I can say that all the different aspects of infertility had never occurred to me. It is not something that many people my age even hear about unless a friend or family member is going or has gone through it. If it hadn’t been for my communications internship with ART of Infertility, I would not have realized that it occurs to so many people and in so many different ways. Since I am not looking to start a family any time soon, I never really considered all the many different struggles that men and women sometimes have to go through to create a baby. It is even more shocking when people still cannot have their own children even with all the developments to science and technology, which only goes to show that there is so much more to discover.

As I mentioned earlier, one of the biggest surprises was the amount of people who go through infertility issues. Besides learning all about E-News spokesperson, Giuliana Rancic as a teenager (I loved her show), I never thought that it was something that so many people, both men and women, had to deal with. However, that is one of the reasons that I am so thankful to have an internship with this organization. Since it is such a personal issue many people find solace and comfort in other people who have gone through similar situations. It is like having a large support group where people will always be there to listen to any anger, frustrations, or just to share stories to show that no one is alone. This type of support is inspiring, especially when it comes to certain organizations dedicated to helping people who are dealing with infertility. It is like having another layer of support and during such a time of pain and frustration, there can never be too many people cheering you on, or picking up the pieces if it doesn’t work out.

One of my favorite parts about being an intern is hearing all the amazing stories from members of the infertility community. There are so many people who take the pain that they are feeling and use it to inspire others and to show that it is possible to survive such an emotional and physical journey after such immense disappointment. Two stories that stand out to me particularly were the stories of Katie and Angela. Both women took their pain and used it towards helping others. It is hard for someone, like myself, who has not gone through this to truly understand what it is like but hearing people’s testimonies is incredibly helpful to get an idea of how stressful it must be to try to conceive but continue to come across complications. By hearing stories about this, people who have not dealt with this can begin to understand how sensitive of a topic it can be to bring up and how everyone handles their grief in different ways. One of the most important things I learned from listening to these stories was to let people grieve in their own way. Not everyone is going to grieve the exact same way and that’s okay. It is only important to let them know that they have support and to be whatever that person needs them to be.

One of the toughest things about being an intern for an infertility organization is the learning curve. As I write blog posts or social media posts, I am still looking up what certain words mean or what the correct way of phrasing a certain condition is. Even coming across other posts, I find myself looking up certain words because I am confused by what they mean. It can be overwhelming at first but eventually it does start to get easier and of course with the occasional slip-up at times, I am expanding my knowledge of all different aspects of infertility.

Overall this has been such an incredible experience for a young intern such as myself. It has given me so much knowledge on a whole subject that students never learn about but is something that so many people deal with. One of the many things that I hope to take away from this experience is to talk about this issue more openly with others who may not understand. Although no one who has never gone through it will ever truly understand, hopefully by talking about it with others more, it will create a better understanding of the issue and bring further awareness to more generations.

Five things I Wish I’d known when First Diagnosed with Infertility

Posted on March 15, 2016 by admin

Awhile back, a friend asked me what I wish I had known when I first received my infertility diagnosis. While there are hundreds of things I’ve learned over the past seven years, these are some that have proven to be very helpful to me in my journey. So, I’m sharing them with you today.

Elizabeth

1. Resolving your infertility will likely take longer than you expect. Hopefully you’ll get lucky and it won’t, but you should be prepared for a long process. It’s going to take some time to move through testing, treatment, and finally reach resolution, whether it’s through treatment, adoption or ultimately choosing to live childfree. For this reason, I often tell those who have recently been diagnosed to take some time to adjust to their diagnosis, find out what their options are, and move forward with the most aggressive option available to them as soon as they are ready.

A portion of the medication calendar for my first frozen embryo transfer.

2. It’s okay to take breaks. Sometimes breaks are forced, due to medical or financial reasons, and sometimes they are a choice. Either way, try to make the most of your “time off”. Infertility is all consuming, even when you’re not going in for daily ultrasounds and stuck with a curfew in order to inject yourself with meds at the right time. Take this opportunity to connect with the people and activities that you enjoyed before you started dealing with Infertility. Explore new hobbies, whatever they might be. Or, just sleep if you have no energy for hobbies after the marathon of medical appointments you’ve just endured!

3. Make friends with others experiencing infertility. No one else is going to understand the mix of joy, agony and guilt you feel when a family member announces a pregnancy like they are. No one else can give you some Lupron when your doctor’s office doesn’t have any on hand and your order from the pharmacy is delayed by a snowstorm (thanks, Jessica!) and no one else can easily decode the sentence, “I’m 6DP5DT. I triggered on April 10^th. When do you think it’s safe to POAS?”

Infertility friend, Lindsey, and me. I visited with her and three other infertility friends in Columbus over the weekend.

4. Be kind to yourself. Treat yourself to little things that make you happy. It’s important to set boundaries for self-care. Say no to attending baby showers, leave the family Christmas party before Santa shows up to pass out gifts to the kids, or visit friends after their toddler is in bed for the night. Above all, always have an escape route and reward yourself for doing things that are hard. I always take a trip to Sephora or Ulta after a trip to Babies R Us, for example :).

A new bottle of nail polish is an inexpensive reward after shopping for a baby shower gift.

5. Share your story. Whether it’s with one family member you can trust, a group of others struggling with Infertility around a table at a support group meeting, or publicly through social media. Infertility can be very isolating. Sharing your story will benefit you and others by creating a community of support and awareness and reminding you that you are not alone in your struggle.

Interested in sharing your story through the ART of Infertility project? We are always interested in talking to those who would like to be interviewed or contribute to the project through art or writing.

Infertility is…How I’ve Met Some of My Favorite People.

Posted on September 18, 2015 by admin

At the RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association Tri-State Walk of Hope last weekend in New Jersey, we brought out our “Infertility is…” cards again and asked those in attendance to share their thoughts. When I was looking through them this week, the first thing that popped into my head about my own experience with Infertility is how it’s brought so many amazing people into my life. We had a chance, after corresponding via phone and email with them over the past year or so, to finally meet some of those amazing people in person at the Walk.

There are too many to count, and I don’t get to keep in touch with most as often as I would like. However, each of the people I have met along this journey mean so much to me. There are those who share their stories with the project, reminding me that I’m not alone in my journey. There are late night exchanges of advice with support group friends via Facebook messenger and emails from people around the world sharing art they have created during their infertility journeys. There are the doctors and other infertility professionals who have opened their doors to us to learn more about the project and those sharing their time and talents with the ART of Infertility community by presenting art and writing workshops. I’ve found an amazing network of incredible people, passionate about their desires to build their families, and passionate about helping others do the same.

So, this week, I’m sharing some of the new cards from the walk with you and asking you, my infertility friends, to share with us what “Infertility is” to you. What makes the experience so hard? What are the silver linings? Is there anything surprising that has come out of your experience? One of my favorite, surprising, outcomes of the ART of Infertility project is having the opportunity to connect the friends I meet along the way to each other so they can build a bigger network of support.

Is there anything else you feel you need extra help with or support for that we could help you with? Are there things you would like to see ART of Infertility offer that we don’t currently? We’d love to hear from you, our friends in infertility and art!

Elizabeth

Tri-State, NJ Walk of Hope

Posted on July 17, 2015 by admin

Maria and I met when we both attended RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association’s Advocacy Day in Washington, D.C. in May of 2014 and quickly bonded over the fact that we were both peer-led support group hosts for the organization. RESOLVE’s signature fundraising event is their Walk of Hope, which takes place around the country.

The ART of IF will be at the Tri-State walk in New Jersey on September 12. We’ll be a community sponsor, to help further RESOLVE’s wonderful work in advocating legislation that helps those with infertility build their families. Our table will have examples from the exhibit on display and we will be doing mini interviews for that project. We’re also putting together a fundraising team. Let us know if you’d like to join us!

Jenna Marinelli is the chair of the walk this year and we’ve asked her to tell us some more about the walk and her personal reasons for walking through our blog this week. Thanks, Jenna, for sharing your story!

Elizabeth

RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association is hosting the 1^st Annual Tri-State Walk of Hope and we are looking for you to join us!!

The Walk of Hope is RESOLVE’s signature fundraising event. This is a community event that recognizes the many ways in which families are built, supports local support services and programs for the 7.4 million men and women living with infertility. A Walk of Hope event represents the infertility journey—a series of small steps, each one filled with hope and a reminder that no one with infertility should walk alone. One Morning, One Mile, One Community.

Local facts:

More than 992,000 women in the Tri-State area (New York, Connecticut, New Jersey and Pennsylvania) are impacted by infertility.
There are only 30 peer-led support groups in the Tri-State area.
New York, New Jersey and Connecticut have insurance mandates for fertility coverage.

After participating in the Washington, D.C. Walk of Hope for past 3 years, I am honored to be the Chair of the inaugural Tri-State Walk of Hope on September 12th, 2015 at Overpeck County Park – Ridgefield Park Area in New Jersey. This event gives me the incredible opportunity to connect with others struggling with their own infertility, often silently and alone.

Jenna has raised the most for the Washington, D.C. Walk for multiple years. She’s now taking her energy to NJ as the Tri-State walk’s chair.

My story dates back to June 2010, exactly one year after marrying my high school sweetheart, when I was diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure at the age of 26. POF is defined as the loss of ovarian function before the age of 40. It occurs in 1 in 1,000, or 1%, of women between the ages of 15 and 29, with the average onset being 27 years old. Currently, there is no cure and no proven treatment that can restore the normal functioning of the ovaries or fertility. Women with POF are recommended IVF with donor eggs or to pursue adoption. POF also has lifelong health implications beyond fertility, particularly with regard to cardiovascular and bone health with greater risks for developing osteoporosis, estrogen deficiency and heart disease.

As of today, my infertility “resume” includes 3 failed IUI’s, 4 cancelled IVF’s using my eggs, and 1 Donor Egg IVF that ended in a Chemical Pregnancy. We do not live in a state that mandates infertility coverage (PA), so we pay out of pocket for everything. This is why we need everyone’s help raising awareness to infertility, so hopefully one day there will be more options & treatments available for couples faced with this disease. We are currently gearing up for our next cycle using Frozen Donor Eggs! I hope that sharing my journey can bring awareness and help even one person. I am a survivor! I will beat infertility!

Please join me for this walk so that no one struggles alone. Registration is free and all are welcome to attend. Both teams and individuals may register. The Walk of Hope also offers fun and activities for all ages. All funds donated will go directly to RESOLVE to further its work. Visit our website today at resolve.org/tristatewalk.

The walk will be held at the beautiful Overpeck County Park.

The walk will be held at the beautiful Overpeck Country Park.

Other ways to help

Follow the Tri-State Walk of Hope on Facebook and Twitter.

We need talented, dedicated, and hard-working volunteers to plan, promote and implement the Walk of Hope. For more information, please contact Jenna Marinelli at njnywalkofhope@gmail.com for details. Volunteering for the Tri-State Walk of Hope is a great way to support the hundreds of thousands of people diagnosed with infertility and have some fun! Each year we rely on the generosity of dozens of volunteers to create a very successful event for the infertility community.

To sponsor the Tri-State Walk of Hope please contact Jenna Marinelli at njnywalkofhope@gmail.com or Jenlene Nowak at 703.556.7172. Our sponsoring partners are very important to RESOLVE’s Walk of Hope. Your support of this event will allow RESOLVE to create a great day for all those choosing to walk with us. Plus you’ll show your clients and customers that people with infertility matter.

Jenna

Angela’s Advocacy Day Interview

Posted on June 29, 2015 by admin

Maria and I had the pleasure of documenting a bit of Angela’s story when we were in Washington, D.C. last month. Angela did multiple rounds of IVF with both her own eggs and donor eggs before adopting her son domestically. Thanks, Angela, for sharing your story with us so others will know they are not alone!

Elizabeth

Angela talks about her experience with open adoption and the frequency with which she has contact with her son’s birth mother.

For more information on adoption, the Creating a Family website is a great resource. They even have a radio show that can how information on the different types of adoption and how to decide which one is right for you and this quick comparison chart on the different types of adoption.

Angela is a RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association Ambassador and a peer-led support group host. You can play the audio clip to hear about how Angela got involved with the organization. (She references Redbook’s Truth About Trying campaign in this clip. You can check out some of the videos from the campaign at this link but will have to scroll to the bottom to find them.)

Click on this link to find a RESOLVE support group near you. If there isn’t one in your area, you can email info@resolve.org to talk to someone about starting one. There’s no substitute for in person, “real life” groups and the support they provide. It was through a RESOLVE support group that I became comfortable with my diagnosis, sharing my story, and ultimately wanting to do infertility advocacy, resulting in ART of Infertility!

Infertility is…

Posted on May 28, 2015 by admin

While we were in Washington, D.C. for RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association’s Advocacy Day and for our pop-up gallery and workshops at Busboys and Poets a couple of weeks ago, we asked those in attendance to fill out cards describing what “infertility is” to them. You’ll see some of them throughout this post, from Elizabeth. You can see more by viewing a slideshow at this link.

When I think of infertility, I think of many things. How I view infertility and what it means to me has changed as I’ve traveled through my journey.

Infertility is… devastating.

Infertility is…feeling left behind.

Infertility is…an identity crisis.

I was pregnant once, as a result of a frozen embryo transfer, and only knew I was pregnant for a few days before learning that the pregnancy was ending in an early miscarriage. During those few days, I was excited, hopeful and cautiously optimistic, that after four years of timed intercourse, hormone injections, and 7 a.m. ultrasound appointments, I might finally become a parent. However, I was also experiencing some serious anxiety and a complete identity crisis.

The early years of infertility were extremely difficult. However, once I was used to the fact that I had an infertility diagnosis (for the most part anyway), I settled in to my place as an infertile woman and RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association peer-led support group host. I read books on infertility, I knew which foods to eat to boost my egg quality (and incorporated excessive quantities of them into my diet), I had infertile friends, and was beginning to perfect my answers to the question, “Do you have kids?”, recite them with conviction, and be ready for any follow up questions that came my way.

When I found out I was pregnant, though obviously happy, I was also confused about where I would fit in. What would happen to my relationships with my infertile friends who I would leave behind? What would my role within RESOLVE become? The first ART of Infertility exhibit was on the schedule at the Ella Sharp Museum in Jackson and I remember being a bit upset that I had to stay in the world of infertility to work on it, instead of being able to enjoy my pregnancy. I was terrified of moving into the world of someone who was pregnant after infertility. I was even feeling exhausted about the fact that, after watching my diet for years to GET pregnant, I’d need to watch my diet for another 9 months in order to make sure my baby was getting the nutrition it would need. It was a mix of thoughts and emotions. A complete identity crisis, over the course of less than 72 hours.

I wish I would have gotten the chance to figure out how I would incorporate all of the thoughts and fears above into my new identity as a woman who was parenting after infertility. I haven’t gotten there yet and might even eventually choose to live child free. I’m still trying to navigate figuring out my identity a bit. However, through working on the ART of Infertility, I feel like I am really finding my footing. Because of this project, my view is now that

Infertility is…meeting amazing people, around the country and around the world, who understand how the disease impacts my life, because they’re living it too.

Infertility is…educating health care professionals about how they can better serve their patients.

Infertility is…hosting art and writing workshops to give others the creative outlet that I have found so helpful along the way.

Infertility is…visiting amazing cities and sharing the infertility stories of those who live there.

Please share with us what “Infertility is” to you.

-Elizabeth

What is Your First Fertile Memory?

Posted on April 22, 2015 by admin

Today’s guest blogger is Jenny Rough. We’ve gotten to know Jenny a bit while working on our upcoming workshops and pop-up exhibit in Washington, D.C. and are looking forward to meeting her there next month!

Elizabeth

What is your first fertile memory?

A friend of mine asked me that question, and I spent a few moments in silence. I thought back as far as I could.

Sunflowers.

The day I stood among the sunflowers in a garden by the side of our house. The sunflowers had grown even taller than me, just as my mom had said they would when we planted the tiny seeds. I was four years old.

It’s fascinating to me to hear how others answer that same question. Last month, I asked the women in the Living Childfree support group I host through RESOLVE. One woman recalled a summer night and a backyard full of fireflies. Another woman remembered a hike through a rainforest. Her family was an “indoor” family, so every twist and turn on the adventure brought a new surprise and engaged her senses.

On May 15, when the ART of IF’s pop-up exhibit is in Washington, D.C., I’ll be holding a workshop on journaling your fertility journey. One of the writing exercises will be to spend five minutes writing about fertile memories.

How about you? What is your first fertile memory? Please email me at jenny.rough [at] jennyrough.com, or post a comment here and share. I’d love to hear about it!

Jenny Rough is a writer who lives in Alexandria, Virginia. Every summer, she hikes out the sunflower fields near her home. Visit her on the web at jennyrough.com.

Introducing the ART of IF Blog

Posted on April 21, 2015 by admin

One year ago, I was just two months out from learning my final embryo transfer was unsuccessful. The reality of that hadn’t yet sunk in. My husband, Scott, and I had been trying to conceive for five years and had endured five rounds of Clomid with timed intercourse, 4 inter-uterine inseminations with hybrid cycles of both pills and injectable medications, and one IVF cycle that resulted in internal bleeding, ovarian torsion and emergency surgery in the middle of the night. There were other surgeries along the way too. Surgery to look for Endometriosis, surgery to remove polyps, and one to remove the remnants of my only pregnancy; the twins I miscarried after our first embryo transfer. Our treatment journey was over. I was both relieved and panicked.

The first pieces of art work I made in response to my infertility, created while recovering from surgery #1.

The first pieces of art work I made in response to my infertility, while recovering from surgery #1.

At that same time, the ART of Infertility’s first exhibit was just a few weeks in to its run at the Ella Sharp Museum in Jackson, MI. I didn’t set out to do more than one exhibit. I wanted a way to raise awareness in my community and figured that sharing the artwork I’d been creating as a way to cope with my infertility diagnosis, along with the artwork and stories of others, would be a way to do so. Working on that show was therapeutic for me and it was amazing to see how participating in the show was so helpful for others as well. It gave us a voice, helped our friends and family understand our disease, and expanded our community. I decided I couldn’t just stop at my hometown and took the show on the road.

The opening reception for our first exhibit, The ART of IF: Navigating the Journey of Infertility at the Ella Sharp Museum in Jackson, MI. Photo by Sarah Gough

In May, I traveled to RESOLVE’s Advocacy Day to lobby on Capitol Hill for legislation to help improve the lives of those with infertility. While I was there, I met Maria Novotny, who is a fellow RESOLVE Peer-led Support Group host on the west side of the state in Grand Rapids. Maria was interested in the project and it wasn’t long before she was a part of the team. With Maria’s help and tremendous help from my parents, my husband, my acupuncturist extraordinaire, Krissy Clark Rock, and other amazing volunteers and supporters, I’ve collected over 50 interviews over the past year and had exhibits on display in three states. We’ve held art, writing and informational workshops and assisted people in building their families by connecting them to people and resources who can help them. We’ve also built an amazing network by putting men and women in touch with others with similar diagnoses and in similar situations so they don’t feel so alone in their journeys.

Kevin Jordan, Maria Novotny, Sarah Powell, and me at RESOLVE’s Advocacy Day, May 2014.

As much as we’ve been able to do in the past year, there’s so much more to be done. There are so many people who want to share their stories and, in an effort to help give a platform to those we can’t meet in person quite yet, we’re starting this blog. We’ll be sharing stories and artwork from the project and invite guest bloggers to share their own perspectives. As always, we invite you to share your stories through your artwork and writing, your interviews, and now, our blog.

Sorting exhibit labels in our Sacramento hotel room before the Northern California Walk of Hope.

Working on this project has been incredible. Hearing the stories of others and sharing mine has helped me process the grief of my infertility. I’ve met amazing individuals and families along the way and am constantly amazed and honored by the ways are willing to share their lives with me, and in turn with you. This journey is just beginning. I’m so very excited to see what the future holds.

On a hike with project participant, Bee, in San Rafael, CA.

Elizabeth

ART of IF

The official blog of the traveling art exhibit and oral history project, ART of Infertility.

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