Nature, Nurture and storytelling through the art of Jen Burdess

Posted on July 26, 2016 by admin

Awhile back, Maria and I came across a news story about an infertility art exhibit, One in Eight, that ran at the Ice Cube Gallery in Denver during National Infertility Awareness Week this year. So, naturally we had to reach out to the artists, Jen Burdess and Anne Hallam. We’re happy that Jen is our guest blogger today! Below, she shares how and why she created her artwork and what the experience of sharing it with others has been like for her. Thank you, Jen, for sharing your story!
-Elizabeth

A detail image of Nature, Nurture, by Jen Burdess. The piece was on display in the exhibit, One in Eight, in Denver in April and May, 2016.

The inspiration for Nature, Nurture came from the implications of the medical diagnosis of infertility I received three years ago. The diagnosis attacked my identity as a woman. In an effort to reconcile those feelings of loss, Nature, Nurture was created. Though my diagnosis will never change, this work has given me some sort of closure to a period in my life of uncertainty and anxiety. Nature, Nurture consists of three linoleum cuts that were inspired by the anatomy of the breast. They were then hand printed. Each lino cut was printed 136 times. This number corresponds to the rate of infertility in America. One in eight couples will suffer from infertility. 17 out the 136 prints is colored red to represent those with infertility. The lino cuts are printed on used breast pads. The breast pads were chosen as a representation of how far I have come. Without ART (assisted reproductive technology), I would not have had my beautiful son. It only seems right then to use art to record my journey.

The breast pads stretched over 30 feet of wall and was 12 feet high in some places. It was important to me that work was large. I wanted it feel large and imposing, something that could not be ignored. I chose to carve three different designs and printed each in their own color to represent that there isn’t just one cause of infertility or one type of person that it affects. There are many different reasons. Some women never find out the cause. I was diagnosed with stage IV endometriosis. Stage IV indicates that the endometriosis has affected your ovaries and has caused cysts on them. It had also ruined my Fallopian tubes and had caused adhesions and scarring throughout my pelvic cavity. While it was devastating to know the extent of the damage, it also gave me some closure. I had a very clear cut diagnosis. It was very cathartic to devote the time and patience it took to print over 400 breast pads. It was a meditative process and helped me to process the emotions that come along with the diagnosis of infertility.

Nature, Nurture by Jen Burdess.

The response I received from the show was overwhelming. I wasn’t sure how everything was going to pan out. I knew I wanted to open up about my experience did not know what that really meant. How would I feel about talking with strangers about this? Could I handle criticism for my choices? I just wasn’t sure. We had a few events planned during the show. One was being part of a gallery tour. We had four groups of people cycle through the gallery. The gallery was split in two. My work on one side and some formalist artists on the other side. Their work was all about design and color. The contents couldn’t have been any more different. The tour groups went from chatty and happy to somber and silent as I started to tell my story. People thanked me for sharing something so personal and many women shared their stories with me. Simply by speaking up, perfect strangers told me their very personal stories of heartache and the many different ways they had built their families.

Sharing my story was difficult to do but every time I told it, it became a little easier. Infertility is a lonely place. It is very isolating. It calls into question your identity as a woman. From a young age girls play at being mothers. Society expects women to take up this role. Those who choose not to have children can be judged very harshly. Women becoming mothers is an ingrained expectation. That expectation, coupled with a desire to become a mother, is a heavy burden for those struggling with infertility.

Nesting

Posted on June 22, 2016 by admin

As I wrote in a blog post not long ago, Maria and I recently had a conversation about how our homes have taken on a different purpose and meaning due to our infertility and living in them as families of two. It got us thinking about nesting, which inspired me to create some artwork around that theme. I made one piece, my “Inhospitable Nest” around the memory a dream I had years ago.

Choosing the materials for that piece and setting aside time to create it was very calming. Weaving the wire in and out was a meditative process and, while I don’t always end up with a product that looks like it did in my head, this one did. Better even. It made me want to create more nests. I’ve since created two more that I’m sharing with you today.

The first was created around a painful experience I had while my sister was visiting with her two youngest children. My four youngest nieces and nephews were having a sleepover at my parents’ house. My mother bought them all matching pajamas and they were wearing them, sitting in a row on my parents’ couch. I was overwhelmed with sadness. I knew that if my twins, conceived after our first embryo transfer, had survived, they would be sitting in the middle of the line up.

Cousins by Elizabeth Walker. Mixed media - copper and aluminum wire, coral, moss.

Cousins by Elizabeth Walker. Mixed media – copper wire, coral, moss.

The second was inspired by a conversation I had with my husband, Scott. We have pet Zebra Finches at home. The birds laid five eggs. One was kicked from the nest, one never hatched. However, three baby birds were growing well. Sadly, they died one by one, the last just days from being ready to leave the nest. Scott mentioned that we shouldn’t let them have babies anymore because it was a lot of work for them without the babies even surviving, to which I responded, “They did better than we ever did.”

Five years, five Clomid with timed intercourse cycles, four IUI hybrid cycles, one IVF cyle resulting in the transfer of three embryos and the furthest we ever got was an early miscarriage. Still, I’m grateful for that brief time I was pregnant.

Better Than We Ever Did by Elizabeth Walker. Mixed media – copper and aluminum wire, pearls.

Infertility and Him: Staying Mobile

Posted on June 14, 2016 by admin

June 13 – June 19 is Men’s Health Week. As a week that highlights the importance of men taking care of their health, we are focusing on male perspectives and infertility. Today, we share some of Kevin’s perspectives. Last week, Kevin shared this short piece with RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association. In this post, he talks a bit about how he has turned to running with his dog, Mason, as a routine that has not only helped him deal with infertility but has helped him take healthier steps towards his future. We invite you to read Kevin’s short story and remind you that if you will be in the San Francisco area this week, to join us, on Thursday June 16 from 7-9:00pm at The Turek Clinic for our capstone Men’s Health event. The event is free and you can register here: http://bit.ly/MHMRegArtSF

Kevin, with his wife, Maria, and their two dogs: Gia (spaniel) and Mason (black lab). Stella (their first puppy) is not pictured as she passed away in January 2016.

As my wife and I delved into the IF journey about 5 years ago, one element that came to the forefront, and still remains, is health. Suddenly, we were critical of so many of our lifestyle choices: what we ate, how often we exercised…were we not respecting our bodies?

Understandably, I think it is easy to get obsessive when it comes to IF, but that is not the solution either. A healthy balance is what is needed. One avenue I explored, and still require in my routine, is running. I run off of my stress. When we first encountered IF, I just started running. I ran two half marathons and a full marathon in one year’s time…it might have been obsessive.

But it worked. I still use it for my mental & physical strength, and for other topics too: when we put our first canine, Stella, down. She was very symbolic of what our first child meant to me and I know very few will ever understand that truth. But I ran that off too, cherishing her memory in the miles I run, with her close friend and my canine boy, Mason.

Running has evolved to other hobbies, including woodworking and renovating a garage to living space since September 2015, when we purchased land to serve as a legacy. And I am in the process of finalizing the design of an art piece for The Art of IF.

When we began our support group search, in a conservative city for that matter, we found the existing groups to be more exclusive, and sometimes not even including men! We knew a group that included all IF backgrounds would be a necessity beyond our needs, but also benefit others struggling to find support. This is how we realized we had to start our own RESOLVE support group in Michigan, and we met good friends that we are still close with today, even outside the group.

The takeaway: I have always found it crucial to stay mobile in life; it will carry you through life’s hardest times and make you invaluable to those in need around you.

Kevin’s Recommended Links:

Expression through Poetry

Posted on June 9, 2016 by admin

Sharing poetry today from Jeffrey Tucker. This poem and other artwork and infertility stories of men and their families will be on display at our pop-up art exhibit on Thursday June 16 in San Francisco from 7 – 9 pm at The Turek Clinic. Free registration at our Eventbrite listing.

We’re excited to be partnering with The Turek Clinic and Men’s Health Network for this event in honor of Men’s Health Month which will feature art making stations, food, drinks, and a peek at the new film If I Could Tell You and a Q&A session with director, Rob Clyde. Sponsorship opportunities are still available. Email elizabeth@artofinfertility.org for more information. Please join us!

Jeffrey Tucker
Artist’s Statement

I believe that writing – especially poetry – is an act of confession. Whether the thoughts expressed in art are joyous, sorrowful, or somewhere in-between (or both, in some instances), the act of comitting pen to paper builds a bridge between the reader and the writer’s psyche, often with an intimacy eschewed in normal conversation.

Which is the say that I tell secrets in my poetry. This poem, in particular, allowed me to express something I would never say out loud. It was both liberating and terrifying to write – an experience (in sentiment, if not in practice) that I have heard many people describe passing through in the journey of infertility: on one hand, you want to scream; on the other hand, you want to hide. Thus, this poem – whose writing process inspired the same feelings in me – in an apt form to convey my emotions.

“On Geography and Biology and the Meeting Thereof.”

(Excerpted from Kill February, forthcoming from Sage Hill Press)
– Jeffrey Tucker

My brother-in-law and his wife: gone,
off to cruise Mexico: siesta
or Fiesta, la Riviera Maya, salted latitudes
south. I picture the two white-footed Utahns
quick-stepping down a burning brown beach,
silver hawkers at hand. They have not heard the stories
I have, of endless squatting in jails
for a wrong U-turn, an unpaid bribe.
Yet I am unconcerned. It’s a cruise,
after all, staffed with smiling deckhands
so eager to pass out Turkish towels
or spray palms with alcohol. If they
died, my wife thinks aloud, they would not
leave our nieces – the four girls – to us.
Since we don’t live in Utah, I say,
and she nods. No family nearby,
not for two thousand miles. And I knew
that my body does not allow us pregnancy, morning
sickness, any of that
lovely fecund wreck. But I did not know that geography
conspired against us at the same time
(not that I ever wish for a death).

The Aftermath of a Male Factor Infertility Diagnosis

Posted on June 7, 2016 by admin

While we have more men sharing their stories with us through artwork and interviews these days, they’re still underrepresented in our project and in the media as a whole. By participating in Men’s Health Month, we’re hoping to shed light on how infertility affects men and encourage more men to use art as a tool in coping with their disease.

In this post from the blog archives, originally posted in July of last year, we hear from ART of IF interview participant and artist, Chas. We’re sharing his artwork at our pop-up exhibit at The Turek Clinic in San Francisco next week, and I just confirmed that he and his wife, Audrey, will be attending as well! Please plan to join us to check out the show, create something of your own at our art making stations, and enjoy food, wine, and the company of others in the infertility community, like Chas. You can get your free tickets here.
– Elizabeth

“We would have cute kids!”

That was the line I said to my wife while we were in college. Forward? Sure. Did I mean it? Yes. Did I know it would take 3 years and 7 IUI’s to finally have a child? Definitely not.

My wife and I wanted to do the things that we felt we had to do before we had kids. You know: get married, careers, buy a house, travel, etc. It wasn’t until my college roommates had their first child in May of 2012 that we sat down and said, “We want a child. We want to experience that kind of love.”

Flash forward 3-4 months of trying, we both felt something was wrong but due to our medical coverage we had to wait a full calendar year of trying to conceive before diagnostic tests could be run. In June of 2013 we were finally referred to our reproductive endocrinologist and the tests began. All of my wife’s tests came back with nothing wrong with her, but I was a different story.

Low motility and low sperm count. That is what my semen analysis (SA) read. I was angry. How could this happen? I have never done illegal drugs, I can count on one hand the times I had smoked a cigar, I workout, eat well, take care of my body, What the hell? Did I do my fair share of the college bar scene? Sure, but it’s not like I drank a fifth of Jack Daniels a night. This had to be wrong. Then the next SA three weeks later had the same results. I couldn’t wrap my head around it. Why me?

I was diagnosed with unexplained male factor infertility. When I was diagnosed with male factor infertility I truly did go though the 5 stages of grief. At first I wanted more SA’s because I was a red-blooded American male and nothing could be wrong with me. Denial. Then when all 5 those SA’s came back the same I was angry at myself, and my body for failing me, with my anger directed towards anyone who crossed my path. I would snap at the littlest things and pick fights just to fight. The anger really stayed for a long time. After that came the bargaining: if I take these infertility vitamins and change my diet that should do the trick. It worked for other people it had to work for me. When the vitamins and diet change didn’t work the depression set in. This is when things got pretty bad. I was truly numb to the world. I disconnected from my wife. She would ask me a question about my day and I would give one-word answers. I couldn’t find the joy in the things I use to love doing. I didn’t want to be around anyone, I just wanted to stay home in the dark. After our 6th IUI failed during National Infertility Awareness Week 2014the acceptance finally started. My wife had posted something on a social media site that she didn’t know other people could see, outed if you will, our struggle to have a child to our friends and family. The cat was out of the bag so to speak. After that only love and support followed from our friends and family. With that love and support we did a picture for NIAW and we also made a team for the Northern California Walk of Hope.

Having to watch my wife take pills and get injections probably was one of the worst parts of the whole IUI process. The pills gave her hot flashes and I handled that pretty well I think. I always had something to cool her down. The injections were hard to watch. I know IVF injections are more extensive but watching her give herself Menopur injections sucked. Watching her do the pain dance, as we called it, always got to me, but the bruises afterwards would bring tears to my eyes. I had to helplessly stand by and watch as my wife had to go through this for something my body was failing to do.

The infertility community as a whole has been so amazing. My wife and I have met so many amazing people going through the challenges of infertility. I don’t think I have ever met that many people that truly pull for you to succeed in that capacity. There is such a kinship in the community that you really do have to experience it and cannot be qualified into words.

If putting my story out there can change one man’s mind for the better about Male Factor Infertility I would feel I accomplished my goal for this blog. Unfortunately, there really isn’t research and support out there for MFI. Why is it on rise? Chemical age? Maybe, but there is no concrete proof. This is especially true for unexplained MFI. There is no need to feel ashamed and disconnected from your partner no matter the diagnosis you are in this together.

3 Powerful Visualizations of Infertility

Posted on June 3, 2016 by admin

The name “The ART of Infertility” has a double meaning. The artwork, created by women struggling with infertility, and Assisted Reproductive Technologies, the medical treatments that help those struggling to become parents. It is also a play on the word “artifact” and the numerous medical objects that can accumulate from going through infertility. IF also has a double meaning. IF is the acronym for infertility. It is also a common word that infertility patients use as they live the limbo that infertility forces them into as their schedules are controlled by fertility treatments.

Today we feature some art that reimagines, reinterprets and repurposes some medical art-i-facts to tell part of their infertility story. When the exhibit travels, these are always some exhibit favorites. They are powerful and tell the truth – infertility hurts and infertility is hard. But going through infertility reminds you also of what matters, what is important, and what is inspiring. We hope a few of these pieces will leave you inspired.

“Letting Go.” This mixed media piece created by Denise is made from ceramic, glass vials, gauze, q-caps and glue. It tells the story of how she now feels like she is trying to put together the pieces of her life that have been shattered because of infertility. The materials used to make this installation are from previous failed fertility treatments.

“Letting Go” by Denise Callen.

Denise explains “Letting Go” as: From childhood,, we are brought up to believe in a traditional fairytale of how our lives will unfold: meet the handsome prince who steals the fair maiden’s heart, marry and have a beautiful family. It can be a rude awakening when life veers from that path. Every plan I made revolved around this traditional view of how life was to play out. I married a wonderful man; we bought the perfect house with room for the traditional 2.5 children, and then the dream took us down a very dark path we never anticipated. Years of trying, expensive treatments over and over and over and over again, took their toll. Just when we would get good news, our hopes would be dashed with miscarriages and no heartbeats. I reached a point when it was time to stop crying, injecting, treatment and pouring money into a dream that wasn’t to be. I needed to let go of the fantasy and find a new dream. I am now putting the pieces of my life together. Like this work, it is still beautiful and holds parts of the past, but it is very different from the original plan. No matter how hard I try to patch it together, it, and I, will never be the same. I am stronger. I am wiser. I am happy. I am sad. I am living child-free.

Failed IVF #1 (September 10, 2015 – October 9, 2015) by Sara Nelson.

Sara explains “Failed IVF#1 (September 10, 2015-October 9, 2015)” as: I often use my own body in my images. Molding it and adhering it to my canvas. Creating forms that are not perfect yet are perfect in their own right. In “Failed IVF#1 (September 10, 2015-October 9, 2015)”, I strive to bring the viewer into the overwhelming world that is infertility at its most extreme, the process of in vitro fertilization. It is an insanely overwhelming process, full of medications, needles, doctor visit, surgeries, extremely high highs, and often extremely devastatingly low lows. In this piece, I have used the needles I used throughout my entire IVF treatment. I have pierced them back into a cast of my own body; in the locations I put the initial injections, day in, day out, day in, day out, hoping to help my doctor to create a perfect, viable embryo to become my child. Unfortunately, the process resulted only in the picture you see; one tiny dot of an embryo that was probably not healthy, and did not make it to become a viable human being. I am still grieving that loss and that failure. After finishing the piece, with the help of my amazing and wonderful husband, I could not help but think, I have to do this again. I have to try again. I am not ready to give up. I WILL have an IVF#2, however emotionally and financially draining it is. Hopefully this will end in success.

“Infertility Armour" (Elizabeth Walker, artist). Amber and pearls are my go-to gems. While I was trying to conceive, I developed some superstitions. One was that I had to wear amber every day or it may change my energy and decrease my chances of getting pregnant. This was unusual for me because I strongly put my faith in science. However, while undergoing treatment for my infertility, science was letting me down.

“Infertility Armour” by Elizabeth Walker.

Elizabeth explains “Infertility Armour” as: Amber and pearls are my go-to gems. While I was trying to conceive, I developed some superstitions. One was that I had to wear amber every day or it may change my energy and decrease my chances of getting pregnant. This was unusual for me because I strongly put my faith in science. However, while undergoing treatment for my infertility, science was letting me down. I created this piece of infertility armorusing needles and syringes identical to the ones my husband used to give me progesterone in oil shots. The shots were one of the things I feared most about IVF but it turned out they weren’t as horrible as I imagined they might be. The amber, while a fashion staple for me, is also a nod to the amber teething necklaces for babies that became popular while I was trying to get pregnant. I felt slighted because amber was MY stone and everyone else was buying it for their babies when I couldn’t have one. The pearls are also the bead that I assigned to progesterone shots in previous projects. When cycling, progesterone keeps your uterine lining in check for your embryo to be able to implant and grow. I imagined this like the lining of mother of pearl inside a shell, or the protective layer that oysters form around a foreign object which becomes a pearl.

The Truth Behind Combat Related Infertility

Posted on June 2, 2016 by admin

As we celebrate #MensHealthMonth, we share a story from Crystal who describes the day her family’s life changed forever. Her fiance, Tyler, was injured while serving with the US Army’s 173rd Airborne Brigade. She shares their inspiring story on how they have fought not just for better Veteran’s care but have fought for their own family.

We salute Tyler and Crystal who remind us that infertility does not discriminate. It can impact anyone – men, women, veteran or civilian.

***

Tyler, pictured outside of the National Mall in Washington, D.C.

May 3, 2005 was a day that changed our lives forever. Tyler was serving with the US Army’s 173rd Airborne Brigade when his Company was called into the Arghandab River Valley to rescue their Battalion Scouts. After arriving in the valley, the Company’s Weapons Squad, where Tyler was serving as an Assistant Gunner, headed to a high point to provide support by fire. While on the hillside Tyler’s squad came under fire and within minutes Tyler was shot four times. The first bullet lodged in his spinal canal, which left him instantly paralyzed from the waist down and unable to move out of the line of fire. Tyler’s Squad Leader, SSG Matt Blaskowski and SPC Clover recognized the danger Tyler was in and despite continuous fire ran to Tyler’s aid to pull him to safety. Tyler was already paralyzed, but the second bullet was what threatened his life as it ripped through his left lung and lodged in his liver. Tyler was left fighting for his life, and without the intervention of others and a will to live he would not have survived.

Little did either of us know May 3, 2005 would set our paths to cross and ultimately lead to another big fight. Tyler and I met in 2013 when he decided it was time to move past his paralysis and return to the things he loved, sports and outdoor recreation. This is where I came in; I worked in adaptive sports for Veterans and together Tyler and I were able to rekindle his love for all that Colorado has to offer and ultimately fall in love with each other!

Shortly after Tyler and I started dating we began discussing a family and how that would be possible with his injury. This is where the biggest fight we have ever faced together began. Due to Tyler’s paralysis we quickly discovered that IVF was our only option to have a biological child of our own. Soon after, we discovered that due to a 1992 “ban” Congress put on the VA there was no coverage for this medical procedure. We were heart broken, devastated, disappointed, the list goes on, after discovering that Tyler’s wounds received in combat would present a $40,000 barrier to us fulfilling our dream of having a baby of our own and Tyler’s last step to fully reintegrating into civilian society.

Neither Tyler nor I were ready or willing to give up on this dream. He fought with everything he was to survive after May 3rd, despite all odds we found each other, were building a life together, and as a stronger team we would fight for this together. There have been so many “bad” days where anger and disappointment feel as they are taking us over in the journey to have a family, and at times complete disgust that our country, a country that you can’t walk down the street without seeing a yellow ribbon, “God Bless our Troops” sticker, or hearing “thank you for your service,” could let this man down so completely. To cope with the spinal cord injury is difficult enough, to fight for your life is enough to ask of Tyler and every other Service Member in his situation, to ask them to give up on the opportunity to pursue a family simply because politics gets in the way is absolutely unacceptable.

I have seen this man struggle through enough already; to get through life as a paraplegic is not an easy task, but he has NEVER ONCE complained about anything or regretted his service to our country until this. To ask him to give up on something he has wanted his whole life, to be called “Dad” simply because he answered the call to Duty, served honorably, and happened to be wounded in a way that prevents him from being able to pursue this dream without medical intervention is this country, this Congress, truly turning their backs on those men and women who have given so much of themselves already.

These reasons are why Tyler and I have chosen to not only find any way possible to pursue this medical treatment on our own, but to also stand against this gap in coverage and fight to both bring awareness to the issue and change policy to ensure this never happens again. The bad days are no longer consumed with anger and no where to place it, disgust and no way to overcome it, but instead we have taken this opportunity to advocate on behalf of Tyler and every other Veteran in his seat, to stand in front of Congress and give them a face to remember when they vote on the proposed legislation that would reverse this “ban.” It has become our mission to ensure Congress no longer vote on statistics related to this issue, but instead vote on faces, on families, on those men and women who they sent to war with a promise to provide health care to those who came back wounded, ill, or injured.

Tyler and Crystal training for the Ride the Rockies tour.

Tyler has done an amazing job at living life from a wheelchair, we have built an amazing life together full of support and a promising future, but this wheelchair, this bullet in his back, that should not be an excuse for Congress to deny him or anyone else in his position what Congress cherishes most themselves. When we were in DC at Advocacy Day 2016, there was a majority of Congressmen and Congresswomen that had family pictures strewn throughout their offices. This became our platform and will continue to be our motivation for change. We have a wall full of medals Tyler earned in combat, we have a wall full of pictures with us and our dogs, but what we are missing is what Congress already has, what war did not take away from them, we are missing Baby Wilson’s birthday.

If you would like to follow-along with our journey to Baby Wilson, IVF Advocacy for Veterans, please see our blog at http://www.pushmeeveryday.com

Infertility is the Worst – The Artwork of Kelly Zechmeister-Smith

Posted on May 18, 2016 by admin

A few weeks ago, Maria and I had the pleasure of interviewing Kelly Zechmeister-Smith at her home in Ann Arbor, MI. Kelly created a series of watercolors that represent real life experiences she had while trying to get pregnant.

This Friday, we’ll be displaying some of Kelly’s paintings, and the artwork and stories of others living with infertility in Michigan, at the Michigan Assisted Reproductive Technology Summit (MiART Summit) in Novi. The MiART Summit is being held by the Michigan Department of Health and Human Services – Maternal and Child Health Epidemiology Section in collaboration with the Michigan Infertility Advisory Committee to bring together diverse stakeholders to learn about infertility and the use of ART in Michigan; explore the association between ART and the incidence of multiple birth, preterm birth, and low birth weight; and develop recommendations to improve ART access, practices, and outcomes in Michigan.

We’ll be sharing our interview with Kelly in a future post but wanted to share some of her artwork today.

Infertility is the Worst
Kelly Zechmeister-Smith
Medium – micron pen and watercolor paint

Artist’s Statement: This work began with an inexplicable creative urgency to represent my layered feelings surrounding my own unexplained infertility (UI)–a maddening diagnosis. Creating small, cartoonish self portraits highlighting my daily experiences as a childless artist and teacher quickly became a therapeutic outlet for me. My hope is that the viewer finds these pieces a playful yet raw glimpse into the life of someone struggling with UI.

Infertility is the Worst III by Kelly Zechmeister-Smith

Infertility is the Worst I by Kelly Zechmeister-Smith

Infertility is the Worst II by Kelly Zechmeister-Smith

Let’s Remember Advocacy Day Is Just the Beginning

Posted on May 13, 2016 by admin

Empowering! Exhilarating! Amazing! Awe-Inspiring!

Elizabeth and Maria at Advocacy Day’s Welcome Reception located in the Russell Senate Building.

These are just a few words that can attempt to capture the overwhelming rush of energy you feel attending an Advocacy Day.

This year though was particularly invigorating given the day’s partnership with veterans and advocating for the VA to change their anti-family-building policies that provide no IVF care to veterans (click here to find out specifics of these policies). Taking on such an issue opened many doors, both on the right and the left, highlighting to staffers, legislative aides and the representatives themselves the injustice these VA policies have on family-building for military families.

At the opening reception, we were powerfully reminded by a military family the importance of advocating for sponsorship of these veterans bills. A military spouse remarked

“War has changed their family, it shouldn’t keep them from having one.”

Upon uttering these words, you could hear the gasps of emotion from the audience. Energy was filling our lungs.

And on Wednesday May 11th, we took that energy and got to work walking the hill as we wore our orange ribbons and #IVF4Vets buttons.Twitter blew up, Facebook pages blew up, even congressional reps and aids seemed a bit surprised.

Nearly 200 infertile advocates took over the hill on May 11th, changing the conversation.

Nearly 200 infertile advocates took over the hill on May 11th, changing the anticipated conversation.

But now, we are all back home. We have returned to our day-to-day, returned to hosting our support groups, returned to our own personal struggles with infertility. The question that we now need to focus on is no longer, how will I get my representatives to support better infertility coverage? We did that. We got their attention. We even made CNN.

Jake Tapper of CNN covers our Advocacy Day and push to get #IVF4Vets.

The question is now, how can I continue to remind my representatives that #IFAdvocacy is not just a day – it is a movement for social change, a move towards family-building, a move towards reproductive social justice. How do we do this though? How do we bottle up all of that energizing spirit and tap into it on a consistent basis?

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Elizabeth, visiting Rep. Walhberg’s (R-MI) office for the third time to ask him to support #IFAdvocacy.

Think about it as a monthly bill that you have to pay (and doesn’t yet have automatic bill payment setup). Pick a date in your calandar. Perhaps it is the 11th since we met with our reps on the 11th. Give yourself a monthly alert on this date to connect once more with your represenatives. Send out an email, send a tweet. Take those business cards you received and email their aids. On Father’s Day, remind those our representatives of how hard this day can be for those looking to build their families. On Thanksgiving and Christmas, do the same. Be an advocate all year long. This takes work.

We know that it does. But if we want #IFAdvocacy and #IVF4Vets we need to hold ourselves and our representatives accountable. In the words of Rep. Tammy Duckworth, the hill is our house. Let’s be sure to demand to our representatives that infertility coverage is something we are putting in our house.

Rep. Tammy Duckworth (D-IL) speaking at the morning training session about her own personal story with infertility while serving in the military.

Last Call for Interviews in D.C. Next Week

Posted on May 5, 2016 by admin

A week from now, Advocacy Day will be over. However, your story can be shared to promote #IFadvocacy throughout the year and beyond, by recording an interview for our oral history project. Maria and I are scheduling mini interviews on Tuesday May 10 and Wednesday May 11 and would love to hear about your infertility journey.

The interviews will be short, about 30 minutes in length including a quick photo session, and we invite you to bring along an object that helps you tell your story. Maybe it’s a photo of the embryo that became your child, the journal you kept, a necklace you bought to remember a baby you lost, or a bill from your clinic. You can read a bit about our sessions at Advocacy Day last year at this link.

If you’d like to share your story with us, please fill out the Google Form found here. After today, we’ll be looking at all of the responses we receive and will contact you with your interview time slots. Due to the tight schedule, it’s likely we won’t be able to talk to everyone while we’re in D.C., but will work with you to record your story at a later time if we can’t meet up next week. We hope to hear from you and look forward to seeing you in D.C.!

Elizabeth

ART of IF

The official blog of the traveling art exhibit and oral history project, ART of Infertility.

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